FLASH FICTION:-- HORROR, SCI-FI, HUMOUR, CRIME, SLICE OF LIFE, ETC.

Friday, 16 November 2012

A small sound


It was a small sound, such a very small sound, barely audible, on the fringe of my hearing.

But still... it was a sound.

Silence prevailed here, the sound of nothing, the sound of a butterfly resting on a leaf, the sound of a cloud floating by, the sound of a flower growing, the sound of a tree sighing.

A sound can mean only one thing.

We are discovered.


©2012 Stephen. J. Green
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24 comments:

  1. Helen A. Howell16 November 2012 at 03:24

    I really like that, no sound is a sound. You said so much with so few words!

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    1. Steve Green17 November 2012 at 18:32

      Thanks Helen, this was just a snippet that came to mind, I was tempted to expand it, but decided to leave it as it was.

      Delete
  2. John Wiswell16 November 2012 at 04:21

    Hide! Read in the right voice, I could imagine this being very effective. It was fun to go through.

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    1. Steve Green17 November 2012 at 18:33

      Thanks John, I think this is something that could be read as either light-hearted or sinister, depending on your inner voice, and how you interpret it.

      Delete
  3. Larry Kollar16 November 2012 at 12:51

    The importance of a tiny change, brought to life.

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    1. Steve Green17 November 2012 at 18:34

      Hiya Larry, sometimes tiny changes can have massive consequences, can't they?

      Delete
  4. Tim VanSant Writes17 November 2012 at 00:16

    Such an ominous ending to such a poetic beginning. Nice one.

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    1. Steve Green17 November 2012 at 18:44

      Thank you Tim, John's interpretation and your own are almost opposites, echoing the ambiguity of the story.

      I think this could be thought of a someone or something being found by a predator, or something as innocent as children playing hide and seek.

      Delete
  5. AB Singer17 November 2012 at 10:01

    Another bonzai bombshell. Who knew that small could be beautiful? It's looking like it was a fun Friday, yesterday.
    How low can drabbles go, I wonder, and still remain punchy?

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    1. Steve Green17 November 2012 at 18:40

      Thank you AB. I love the expression "Bonsai bombshell".

      At 69 words this is not my shortest flash, I posted one back in May called "42 The meaning of life" which was 42 words long, you can find it here if you would like to read it.

      http://greenstephenj.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/42-meaning-of-life.html

      Thank you for the very complimentary comment. :-)

      Delete
  6. Cathy Olliffe-Webster17 November 2012 at 13:44

    Oh... now there's a nice one... well done!

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    1. Steve Green17 November 2012 at 18:41

      Hiya Cathy, thank you for the very kind words. :-)

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  7. EJ Hobbs18 November 2012 at 00:57

    I enjoy these smaller pieces of work, my friend.Small and powerful yet again.I like the duality it represents:a small change can indeed have a large impact. Whether for good or ill it really depends on which side the coin lands.Well done!

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    1. Steve Green18 November 2012 at 10:48

      Thank you E.J. Although I do write longer stories, some stretching to around 3k, most of my flashes tend to be in the 200-500 word bracket, this is the area I most enjoy working in, and it's always a real confidence boost when it works for the reader.

      Delete
  8. Dawn Huddlestone18 November 2012 at 04:06

    Wonderful, Steve! You've captured the utter silence of this world so well that the last line conveys, for me, how terrifying even the softest of sounds would be.

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    1. Steve Green18 November 2012 at 10:53

      Hiya Dawn, and welcome. Thank you for the very kind comment, the story is definitely open to interpretation, but like yourself readers are mostly favouring the sinister angle.

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  9. Icy Sedgwick18 November 2012 at 09:38

    Lots of sound in this week's flashes! Loved this. There was a real sense of panic in that last line.

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    1. Steve Green18 November 2012 at 11:33

      Thank you Icy, being discovered can quite often turn a situation from safety to danger.

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  10. Kath18 November 2012 at 20:56

    I know you could take this to be sinister if you thought the narrator was hiding from someone but I thought it could have been children playing hide and seek or simply someone trying to find some peace in a secluded spot and having others come close to that. Wonderfully atmospheric piece, Steve, I really enjoyed how much of a punch that delivered.

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    1. Steve Green18 November 2012 at 22:40

      Kath, thank you for the very lovely comment. It has been good to note the different ways readers have viewed and interpreted this flash.

      Delete
  11. Craig Smith21 November 2012 at 09:52

    You have a real knack for these extra short pieces Steve. Really fires up the imagination. Makes me wonder who they are and who discovered them,

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    1. Steve Green21 November 2012 at 11:27

      Thanks Craig, I never really decided who, or what they may be, probably not human though.

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  12. Cindy Vaskova22 November 2012 at 00:27

    Should it be horror evoked from that last line, or should it be a light emotion, game of hide and seek?

    I like guessing! For me it worked deffinitely as a horrific moment, I got this very poetic, mystic tone in the previous lines and then... Great stuff!

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    1. Steve Green22 November 2012 at 10:41

      Thank you Cindy, like yourself, most people see this as a horror moment rather than something more innocent.

      Delete

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