FLASH FICTION:-- HORROR, SCI-FI, HUMOUR, CRIME, SLICE OF LIFE, ETC.

Friday, 20 September 2013

A wonderful evening


They had bumped trolleys in the supermarket, laughingly apologised to each other, passed in opposite directions down every subsequent aisle, smiled, nodded, and walked on.

Fate favoured him that day, their cars just happened to be parked side by side.
They were loading shopping, he took the plunge, shyly asking her number, and offering his own.

Mid evening and she hadn't called, why would she? He was no Adonis, just an average guy, and she was so beautiful, probably fighting them off with a stick.

Faint heart never won fair lady, he would call her, the fear of rejection lay heavy with him, but he had to know.

She picked up, sounded delighted. A date? Why, yes, she would love to. Tomorrow evening? That would be splendid, would he mind if she hosted?

He dressed smartly, his best suit. Took flowers, wine, chocolates, and hope.

He knocked on her door, nervously shuffled his feet, felt his spirits hit the sky when the door opened and her beaming face appeared. She was so happy to see him, she was glowing with pleasure, with excitement, with expectation.

The meal was exquisite, beautifully prepared, a candlelit heaven.

They chatted as though they had known each other all their lives.

Hands reached out across the table, fingers touched, intertwined, energy flowed from one to the other.

He had never felt so happy in all of his life, he just wanted this wonderful, wonderful evening to go on for ever, they both did.

They sat, holding hands between the candlesticks.

They sat like that until the daylight seeped through the gaps in the shades.

Until the summer turned into autumn.

Until the flesh fell from their bones.

Until there was only dust.


©2013 Stephen. J. Green.

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17 comments:

  1. Helen A. Howell20 September 2013 at 01:27

    Beautiful! A love story that lasts the distance - very nice.

    No flash from me this week but I did do something different, a study in sepia of Dorothy from Wiz of Oz - it's posted on my blog if you're interested. ^_^

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    1. Steve Green20 September 2013 at 20:36

      Thank you Helen, they certainly made the most of that date, didn't they? :-)

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  2. Deanna Schrayer20 September 2013 at 14:30

    I'm a romantic at heart (don't tell anyone) ;) so this story touched me deeply Steve. I love to hear of true love that lasts forever. Beautiful!

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    1. Steve Green20 September 2013 at 20:50

      Ah Deanna, you're secret is safe with me. (chuckle...) :-D

      Thank you for the very kind words, comments like this make the writing of it worthwhile. :-)

      Delete
  3. John Wiswell20 September 2013 at 17:03

    You took this to such a far place from the first paragraph to the last, Steve. I like the length.

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    1. Steve Green20 September 2013 at 21:02

      Thanks John, I tend to think in clipped sentences, so quite often that is how the words come out too.

      Delete
  4. Cat Russell21 September 2013 at 05:31

    Ummmmm, didn't see that coming! Soooo, what happened? Did she poison them?

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    1. Steve Green21 September 2013 at 10:21

      Hi Catherine, my wife asked me that very same question.
      The story has a very vague ending, I know, but my concept was simply that they were so happy they wanted the moment to last forever... and it did. I could have put more explanation in there, but I liked the look of the last few lines so I decided to leave it to the reader's interpretation.

      Delete
  5. Larry Kollar22 September 2013 at 04:03

    An unexpected twist—or not-twist, as it were! I can think of worse ways to go.

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    1. Steve Green22 September 2013 at 11:11

      Hi Larry. Yeah, me too. :-)

      I'm thinking I may re-write a "fully-fleshed" version of this, because initially I was aiming for horror, but somewhere between muse and keyboard it morphed into what you see.
      I quite like the look of this but my original idea was for a much more horrific ending.

      Delete
  6. Steve Green22 September 2013 at 13:41

    Hi, and thanks for stopping by.

    Since my reply to Larry's comment above, I have now written a much longer and slightly different version of this story, one that is nearer to my original intention, which I shall be posting for next week's #fridayflash.

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  7. Katherine Hajer22 September 2013 at 16:06

    That was lovely! It really was fate. This put me in mind of some of Borges's stories.

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    1. Steve Green22 September 2013 at 17:15

      Thank you Katherine, you are very kind.

      I had to google Borges, and I'm extremely flattered that you would even compare my work to his.

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  8. Icy Sedgwick22 September 2013 at 17:51

    Be careful what you wish for, I suppose!

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    1. Steve Green22 September 2013 at 18:53

      That's it in a nutshell, Icy. Be very careful, because your wish just may come true.

      Delete
  9. Tim VanSant Writes25 September 2013 at 16:45

    Nice work. I'm looking forward to the new version next week.

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    Replies
    1. Steve Green25 September 2013 at 23:09

      Thanks Tim, it will be interesting to see which version people prefer.

      Delete

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