Friday, 18 January 2013
Culture
I came across it when I was clearing out the fridge, there it was, right at the back, probably been there unnoticed for months.
I lifted the bowl out and took one look at the fungus that had spread across whatever unrecognisable substance was in there, and headed for the dustbin with it.
That's when I heard it...
It squeaked.
I took a close look at the thing in the bowl and nearly dropped it in shock, a pair of tiny eyes stared back at me.
Oh, not just any eyes, not the kind of tiny-pupilled, squinty, evilly type of eyes, no, but the large, wide-eyed honeyed eyes that only babies seem to possess.
And a tiny mouth too, a tiny rose-bud lipped cute little baby mouth, and between these features a cute little button nose had started to form.
That was eight weeks ago. It's grown up some since then.
It has been moved from the bowl, first to a medium sized cooking pan, then a washing up bowl, a large Tupperware box, and is currently living in a plastic dustbin that I bought for it.
It gets bigger by the day.
It likes squishy things to eat, things easy to get down. Milk, gravy, blancmange, that type of stuff, but its favourite food is jam, not the cheapo supermarket own brand, although it will eat that, it goes absolutely bonkers for the expensive jam, the stuff that has the full, sugary, whole strawberries in it.
The squeals of joy when it sees that label are heartwarming to hear.
I live alone, and had no friends, until now that is.
Oh, I know it's never going to be able to hold down a job, or contribute towards the bills, and it doesn't have much in the way of conversation, but we seem to have so much in common, it really likes watching documentaries on TV, and listening to classical music, it's smart too, a real fast learner, it can already play a mean game of chess.
©2013 Stephen. J. Green.
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Hehe, awesome!
ReplyDeleteThanks Catherine, I hope it gave you a chuckle or two. :-)
DeleteLove it! I've missed stopping by here. I'm off to check out a few more stories.
ReplyDeleteHiya Danielle, and thank you.
DeleteI don't know why I enjoyed its chess-playing so much. It's the unexpected quirks that are getting me this week. Figured with you writing, it couldn't just be a mouse.
ReplyDeleteHi John, sometimes on these pages you can expect the expected, not very often though, eh? :-)
DeleteTee- hee squidgy cuteness I can see it living in its dustbin.
ReplyDeleteHeheh! The rate it's growing at it may need a dumpster soon. :-)
DeleteNice. =) Puts me in mind of two things...
ReplyDeleteFirstly, Herman the German Friendship Cake. Someone gave him to me in a plastic tub (true story). Basically a sour dough, you keep it on the side, feed it (literally), then when it has grown, divide it, bake some, give the rest to friends. And Herman lives on... ;)
Although I don't think your protagonist is about to divide or bake his new friend.
Secondly, there was an episode of Cowboy Bebop styled as an Alien inspired 'unknown thing in the shadows' horror, which turned out to be something they had left in a fridge too long. The dog ate it in the end... ;)
I could do with a chess partner, tbh. I don't suppose he remembers what was in that pot...? =)
Thanks John. I haven't heard of either of the things you mention, but they both sound very interesting though, I may have to google. :-)
DeleteI'm not sure what was in the bowl to start with, perhaps a milky rice pudding with a dollop of jam on top? :-)
Dirty fridge... aged food... hallucinating a talking fungus.... It's drugs right, got to be drugs? :-)
ReplyDeleteThis was good fun Steve
marc nash
Y'know Marc, I never even thought about hallucinogenic drugs while I was writing this, but it definitely reads like it could be someone tripping, doesn't it?
DeleteClever piece. You never know what's in the back of the fridge.
ReplyDeleteAdam B @revhappiness
Hiya Adam, and thank you.
DeleteI keep hearing snuffling and skittering noises coming from my fridge, I think it's just the heat exchanger... I hope. :-)
I agree with Marc - it's got to be drugs....then again, it is time for me to clean out the fridge, maybe I'll find some company in there too, (and I don't do drugs). :) Fun story Steve!
ReplyDeleteThanks Deanna, I hope it gave you a giggle or two.
DeleteI don't want to scare you, but be careful when cleaning out that fridge, if you come across a squidgy thing in there, it may be one of the aggressive ones. :-)
Well I, for one, welcome our new mould overlords.
ReplyDeleteThey sound very cute
Heheh! They could become a must-have craze, I think they might get rather expensive to feed when they get really big though. :-)
DeleteI guess you can find a friend anywhere. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's especially nice to find one that shares all the same interests too, isn't it? :-)
DeleteSome stories you hope the narrator isn't delusional, that they've actually discovered this improbable, amazing thing/creature/place. Other stories, you hope they are delusional, because the story is so scary.
ReplyDeleteFor me, this one falls in the latter category, and it's because of that last paragraph. Anything that random that grows that fast and is that smart scares me.
Which is a long way of saying this was a very effective story! Makes me wonder what the heck was in the bowl to begin with (and what grew over it)....
By the way, I finally completed my Liebster award blog post! Congratulations on winning yours -- very well deserved! -- and thanks again for including me as a nominee.
http://the-eyrea.blogspot.ca/2013/01/liebster-award.html
I agree that something like this could be potentially very dangerous, but this particular squidgy-thingy is a friendly one. :-)
DeleteThis was a lot of fun. Just imagine the army they can grow if it happened in everyone's fridge!
ReplyDeleteThanks Craig, once they started eating they would probably be the ONLY thing left in the fridge. :-)
DeleteAw, I'm glad it seems to be such a cute companion, instead of a fridge monster!
ReplyDeleteI think theirs is going to be a long and mutually beneficial friendship, there may be problems if he ever starts dating though. :)
DeleteI want one! Who would have thought the thing in the back of the fridge could be this cute and friendly?
ReplyDeleteHiya Cindy, I think I may be clearing out our fridge this weekend, if I come across any cute squidgy thingies I'm keeping the first one, you can have first grabs if I find a second one in there. (I hope they don't suffer from travel sickness.) (Chuckle)
DeleteI've referred to those now-unknown things in the fridge as "science projects." This one took on a life of its own… literally. I just hope it doesn't meet a dog. The thing I'm afraid of is, that it's being cute and friendly and all FOR NOW. :-D
ReplyDeleteScience projects? Haha! Yeah I like that. :-)
DeleteLet's hope that it is still cute and friendly when it loses a chess game. :-)
My mother would like it known that her fridge is pristine :P Mine on the other hand... if I find one it can have my jam but I'm not sharing my marmite!
ReplyDeleteGreat story Dad xx
Hiya Darling, and thank you.
DeleteI will admit that our fridge does LOOK pristine, but then again, I haven't checked every little nook and cranny, there's some suspicious-looking cans of beer in there that would bear out closer inspection later on this evening. :-)
And yeah, protect that Marmite, you either love it or hate it... A bit like squidgy thingies I suppose. :-)
Hilarious, Steve! Ditto what John wrote about playing chess with it, that gave me a good laugh. I also liked the paragraph in which you described its eyes.
ReplyDeleteThanks Richard, this seems to have caused a few smiles with the readers, that makes me happy too. :-)
DeleteThat was really sweet, but it also made me want to clean out my fridge. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Sonya. Be careful in there, you just don't know what you may come across, best to carry a spoonful of jam just in case. :-)
DeleteYou always have to keep your eyes open for new friends, eh? Good story!
ReplyDeleteThanks Eric, a good friend is always a treasured find, even if they're a better chess player. :-)
DeleteThis is right up my leftfield alley Steve and an utter joy to read. I wrote a similarly-themed story a while ago (fungus-baby-thing replaced by chicken) which is now out in the competition ether. (Have you read David Gaffney?)
ReplyDeleteThanks Justin, it's good to temper my post-apocalyptic and horror with the occasional bit of silliness, I rather enjoy writing this kind of thing, but the ideas don't come as often as for the darker stuff.
DeleteI haven't heard of David Gaffney before, so I did a google of his bio, and read about a dozen of his flash fiction stories, he's a very clever writer, a little strange and surreal too, but immensely readable.