When I was younger the lines were so sharply drawn, everything was either right or wrong, good or bad, legal or illegal, moral or immoral, black or white.
The blackest of blacks, the whitest of whites, separated by a razor-thin divide.
As I grew older the grey began to creep in, and the lines became blurred, indistinct.
As I approach the winter of my days, the grey area has spread further, become all-encompassing, black and white no longer seem to exist any more.
Now I find it almost impossible to venture even the smallest opinion, or make the most trivial decision.
©2012 Stephen. J. Green.
This guy needs a rainbow of colors. LOL Poor gray thing.
ReplyDeleteLovely peice. I think the grayness - on the head and in the world he sees - is probably inevitable.
Thanks Sonia, I think it's probably true that as we grow older the world becomes a more scary place, and decisions can be more difficult to make, possibly through failing confidence, also because the world has moved on, and we don't fully understand the modern world we live in.
DeleteIt's difficult losing yourself in relativism, yet if he feels the smallest opinion is difficult, how does he have an opinion on the whole matter?
ReplyDeletehaha!! You've got me there John.
DeleteI don't think he's venturing an opinion here, just stating a fact as he sees it.
I liked that the grey crept in, because life is not black or white, but somehow I feel sad that he cannot make the smallest opinion now. It's like without the clear divide he has become totally lost. It's almost like a creeping dementia.
ReplyDeleteHi Helen, and thank you.
DeleteThe last line may be a little too strong, but that's how it came to me.
I almost rounded this flash off with a humourous punch line, but decided I liked it better as a more serious piece.
not 50 different shades I trust Steve...
ReplyDeleteYou have just described my job. We deal in monitoring censorship of the written and spoken word and the black & white cases are simple (where the word breaks the laws of the land, or where a writer is persecuted for their words). It's the grey cases about the right to cause offense to certain communities are the tricky ones. Plus when writers censor themselves before publishing for fear of reprisals...
marc nash
Heheh! No Marc, only 37. :-)
DeleteWow, your job sounds like a real mind-bender, I'm happy to say that my own job is far less complex than that.
That's nothing a little hair dye can't fix, though. Right?
ReplyDeleteActually, that was a very thought-provoking piece, Steve. Well done!
Thanks Chuck. Well, the hair dye would fix at least part of his grey world. Possibly it would result in a younger looking narrator who still cannot venture opinions or make decisions. :-)
DeleteWhen I studied 18th century literature, the prof had to give us a mini-lesson on rhetoric so we could understand the structure of the essays we studied. A big part of 18th century rhetoric (taken from the ancient Greeks, of course) was that one should acknowledge and briefly argue from the opponent's point of view, the better to either demolish it later on, or to define the scope of one's assertion.
ReplyDeleteIt's the lack of that context that seems to cause the mixing-up, the relativism, the despair the narrative conveys so well in this piece.
Thanks Katherine.
DeleteI think someone who sees themselves in such a grey world would, unfortunately, probably not be open to seeing an opposing view.
Wow Steve, you have showed so much with so few words here. It is interesting how, as we grow older, those lines seem to blur and then clear....or do they, clear that is? Outstanding story!
ReplyDeleteDeanna thank you so much for the lovely comment. As for the lines clearing? I guess I'll find out eventually. :-)
DeleteI've spent a lot of time working with young people and I am often amazed at how absolutely certain they can be in their opinions. I've always considered a touch of grey to be a sign of maturity.
ReplyDeleteHi Tim, the general opinion is that with age comes wisdom, young people do tend to be very firm in their convictions... until life shows them that they may not be quite as correct as they thought they were.
DeletePersonally I think I'm growing older and wiser, without the wiser bit. :-)
Something about the greyness I find comforting, though I feel for him that he has trouble with trivial decisions.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you find comfort there Richard, as for not being able to make trivial decisions, as usual I couldn't go half way with a statement, it always has to be towards the extreme, doesn't it? :-)
DeleteIt does go grey, and simple is no longer simple at all. But on the bright side in all the greyness and blurr there hide some other colors, with them come options and decisions. Or am I just being optimistic rather than realistic?
ReplyDeleteYou offer some questions Mr. Green without really asking them. I wonder...but then again I like to think I'm waaay to far from this moment, which you have described so well.
Very thought provoking piece Steve. Thank you.
Thank you Cindy, some of the comments to this piece go far deeper than I expected, I didn't really analyse what I was writing too much, I just wrote it as it came into my mind, and I am both flattered and amazed by the responses.
DeleteWith age comes experience, and the realization that there are far fewer absolutes than we once thought (and some of those absolutes might switch polarity too). It's when we try to hold on to the idea that every decision must be wholly right or wholly wrong, that we end up like the poor old wretch in this highly illustrative piece.
ReplyDeleteI'm not an absolute relativist, mind you—some decisions *are* wholly right or wholly wrong. Just not that many. ;-)
I'll go along with that Larry. Some people will, however, still cling to their opinions even after they have been proven to be wrong.
DeleteMaybe through stubbornness or a fear of being wrong.
This one really spoke to me, Steve. It's like when you're a child and everything is wonderful and exciting and as you get older and the magic of it seems to dissipate as you slowly learn how things and people work. But still sometimes there are moments which bring full colour back into your life again.
ReplyDeleteThanks Craig, I don't believe or act the way the narrator does, it's just a concept, and quite an extreme one at that.
DeleteOne would always hope that however old we get, there will still be colours in our lives.
Kind of depressing, but an extrapolation of real experience, I think. Certainly in youth things seem a lot more clean cut, it's easier sometimes to champion a cause with all your heart, knowing, just knowing, the other side is so wrong. But as you grow up you see the flaws in your own arguments, and you begin to understand why your opponents believe the things they believe. To a certain extent.
ReplyDeleteAs Katherine says, understanding the opposing point of view can help you defeat it... ;)
Seeing in many shades is much more interesting, but I hope I never reach the point where I cannot choose between them. =)
John, thank you for this very insightful comment, there is so much truth here. And as I replied to Cindy, readers have looked far deeper into this than I did, and it gives me a real good feeling to know that they think it worthy of that deeper analysis. :-)
DeleteThis is great because there's a heavy dose of truth in it. I think as we get older it can feel like that and on my first reading I thought, damn that's true isn't it? Then I thought some more and decided it wasn't.
ReplyDeleteSo thanks for making me think...twice!
Thanks Peter, and you are welcome for the double-take. :-)
DeleteBit different to your usual older person...all of the ones I know are incapable of seeing grey!
ReplyDeleteHiya Icy, and I'll bet most of 'em are just dyeing to look younger too. ( Heheh!!) :-)
ReplyDeleteHi there Steve -- I think this does happen when, as you get older, you realise nothing is *that* simple. Black and white thinking can be a victory of imagination over reality: it can achieve the unexpected (and good on it), but it can also ignore the subtlety of the actual. When extreme shouts and moves on, shades of grey is there to moderate day-to-day equilibrium. Both are to be respected. St.
ReplyDeleteHi Stephen, and thank you for the very in-depth comment.
DeleteTime and age can certainly change many things, especially perspectives, and opinions.