Friday, 12 October 2012
John just went to pieces after his wife left him.
The very day after she had walked out, he awoke to find unnervingly large clumps of his hair on the pillow. During the course of the day he became gradually balder and balder, and although he was rather perturbed by this, he put it down as being a nervous reaction to his wife's actions. No doubt the hair would grow back once he had got over the initial shock of being abandoned.
The following day, as John was rubbing shower gel onto his smooth, and for some reason that he couldn't quite fathom, sexy-feeling bald head, something floated past his line of vision and into the water below.
Looking down he was shocked to see one of his fingernails floating along towards the shower drain hole. He lowered his hands to eye level and watched in horror as one by one the remaining nine flaked off and joined it, creating an armada of tiny fingernail boats.
John began to feel sick, something was not right here. Maybe he was hallucinating? Another nervous reaction to being left alone?
He towelled himself dry and went for a lie down, convinced that all would be well with his world when he woke up again.
John blinked himself awake, and climbed out of bed, only to fall heavily to the floor. Shocked, he tried to stand, and immediately fell flat on his face again. The impact sending one of his eyeballs flying from its socket, it rolled rapidly across the carpet and disappeared under the wardrobe.
He rolled onto his back and squinted along the length of his legs...
There was no feet on either of them.
He almost gagged in panic!
He dragged himself back onto the bed and into a sitting position, tentatively he pulled the sheet aside, there were his feet, either side of a small pile of toenails.
“Oh God! … Oh God! … Oh God!”
John raised his right, nail-less hand to his mouth to stifle the scream that was building inside him, just before he could cover his mouth, the hand fell from his wrist, bounced off his thigh, and landed heavily on the carpet.
The scream came... Accompanied by the tinkling sound of most of his teeth cascading from his mouth into his lap, followed shortly by the wet splat of his tongue joining the pile.
“Oh Gog! ... Oh Gog! ... Oh Gog!”
John was screaming in mind as well as mouth, insanity was kicking in.
A sudden thought struck John, silencing his screams.
Until now he had always believed that his wife would be the one to go to pieces if she ever found out about his affair.
The comical twist of the situation was not lost on him.
He started giggling maniacally, his lunatic mirth grew in volume and intensity, reverberating around the house, bouncing off the walls, until eventually he just laughed his head off.
©2012 Stephen. J. Green.