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Friday 15 June 2012

Positively negative

“I am such a negative person.”

“Are you sure?”

“Huh?”

“I asked you if you were sure, about being negative that is.”

“Oh yeah, absolutely positive.”

“You just said you were negative.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“But you said you were absolutely positive.”

“Huh?”

“So, are you positive, or not?”

“Oh yeah, yeah I am.”

“About being negative?”

“Uh. Yeah.. I think so. Look, you're confusing me now.”

“Okay, let's try a different tack. Do you generally see the dark side of things?”

“Oh sure, yeah, sure I do.”

“And from most scenarios you see the worst case happening?”

“Yeah, yeah, I guess I do.”

“And does it?”

“Does what?”

“Does the worst case usually happen?”

“Yeah, mostly it does happen, yeah it does.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Well, it make me feel right of course. I expect the worst to happen, and it usually does.”

“So that makes you feel right?”

“Yeah! What are you, stupid or something?”

“And being right is a positive experience, is it not?”

“Huh?”

“If your negative assumption proves to be correct, then it has positive consequences, yes?”

“What? Uh, yeah, I guess so.”

“Then you are more of a positive person than you thought you were, right?”

“No, no not really.”

“Why?”

“Cos I'm such a negative person, that's why.”


©2012 Stephen. J. Green.

38 comments:

  1. Ha ha loved it! So positively funny! ^___^

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    1. Thanks Helen, I hope this one gave you a good giggle. :-)

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  2. I read the second speaker as a woman, and a willful nag, exactly what the former speaker deserved.

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    1. Y'know John, with his outlook, it would probably be a good thing for someone to nag him into being a tad more positive. :-)

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  3. I'm pretty sure I like this one. ;-)

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    1. Sorry Tim, I'm afraid you're going to have to be a bit more positive than that.

      (You KNEW you'd get this reply, didn't you?) :-)

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  4. fiendishly clever! Impeccable logic. Can imagine an end where he says "Your session is up, that'll be £150 thank you!

    marc nash

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    1. Heheh! Thanks Marc, and I think it would be good value at double the price. :-)

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  5. Heh, as an occasional pessimist, I really appreciate this :-)

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    1. Thanks Maria, I think we're all occasional pessimists, errr, occasionally. :-)

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  6. Replies
    1. Ah, but are you ABSOLUTELY positive about that Peter. (Heheh!)

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  7. Loved this, Steve. Just brilliant. I've shared it all over the place!

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    1. Hiya Nickie, and thank you, both for the lovely comment, and for sharing the story, I hope all of your friends enjoy it too. :-)

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  8. HaHa! Can't fault the logic in that!

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    1. Heheh! Thanks Natalie. Where total negative-pessimists are concerned though, I'm not sure if logic even counts. :-)

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  9. Very creative! Something to pass on!!! I wrote something on negative people. Different, but kind of same topic dealing with negative people

    http://tehaskett.blogspot.com/2012/06/how-to-deal-with-special-people.html

    Thanks!

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    1. Hi, welcome to The Twisted Quill, thank you for reading, and taking the time to comment.

      I read your post on negativity, and I feel sure that there are many people who would benefit from reading it, and the advice it contains.

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  10. Oh, how fun! I used to tease my wife:

    "You're so negative."

    "No I'm not!"

    "See?"

    Playing logic/word games can be tons of fun, for at least one of the people involved. ;-)

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    1. Thanks Larry. Heheh! It's a bit like

      "You contradict everything I say."
      "No I don't."

      I do like working different meanings into words too, as you say, it can be such fun. :-)

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  11. Replies
    1. Thanks Chuck, I had fun writing it too. :-)

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  12. I do love this! So very brilliant and fun!

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    1. Thank you Cindy, I do like writing humour, even most of my darker stories have some kind of humour woven into them, albeit somnetimes very dark humour. :-)

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  13. This has a classic “Who Is On First Base” feel to it. The interrogator is a great arguer. The I have a feeling he could convince anyone of anything.

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    1. Hi Aidan, and thanks, I wish I was as good an arguer as I've managed to make this character. :-)

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  14. This is a Laurel and Hardy if I've ever seen one, or it should've been. :) Much fun Steve!

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    1. Hi Deanna, I love your take on it. :-)

      Haha! another fine mess I've gotten myself into. :-)

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  15. Ha! And who is on first, anyhow?

    It's been my observation that people get labeled "negative" when they speak up about design flaws or offer honest criticism. Being "positive" has somehow become equated with being oblivious.

    Or maybe that's just me being negative again.

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    1. Hi Katherine, it is true that some people will accuse you of being negative for offering constructive criticism, or even for venturing an honest opinion, for some people it is easier to throw "negative" back, than to accept that the other person is probably right in what they are saying.

      On a lighter note... You're not a really negative person until you are truly definitely absolutely positively negative. :-)

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  16. Clever word play. I enjoyed this!

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    1. Thanks Catherine, it's good to hear that, I hope it gave you a chuckle or two. :-)

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  17. Sounds like a very confused battery, doesn't know which side is which. Fun story!

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    1. Thanks Craig. Heheh! Yeah, can't tell its negative side from its positive side. I just hope the battery's confusion doesn't become terminal. (Groan... Sorry) :-)

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  18. Wow, you must've met my counsellor!

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  19. LOL Sounds like someone is playing with his head.

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    1. Haha! Yeah, that there logic is incredibly confusing stuff, isn't it? :-)

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