FLASH FICTION:-- HORROR, SCI-FI, HUMOUR, CRIME, SLICE OF LIFE, ETC.

Friday 30 March 2012

Open house

“Your house really is an invitation to burglars.” My neighbours told me.

“This really is a high crime area.” They said.

“You really should get an alarm system fitted.” They said.

“You really shouldn't leave your window ajar at night.” They said.

“You really ought to get a stronger back door, and heavier bolts.” They said.

But we like things just the way they are.

The master roams the house at night, silent as a shadow.

The master likes burglars, he likes burglars very much.

He only spits out the nails and teeth.


©2012 Stephen. J. Green.

26 comments:

  1. Oh the master sounds like a must have household necessity. I like it! I wondered where this was going, nice twist!

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    1. Thanks helen, yes, I think every home should have one, the worrying thing is though, what will they feed on once all the burglars have been eaten? :-)

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  2. LOL Well nothing will ever be stolen in this house. Like the ending.

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    1. Hiya Sonia, yeah, you would sleep easy knowing what was protecting you through the night too, wouldn't you? :-)

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  3. Beautiful. I have this image in my head of a very large, implacable owl.

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    1. Thanks Katherine, I like your idea of a giant owl, I think people will conjure up their own version of what they find scary, my own idea was something similar to the creature in Stephen King's Salem's lot, only far nastier. :-)

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  4. Oh, I love Katherine's image of the master as an owl. What a hoot! [sorry]

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    1. Haha! You don't have to apologise for being punny Tim, if your name hadn't been above this comment, I would still probably have guessed whooo... (Sorry) (Chuckle)

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    1. Thanks John, I just like to throw the humour in whenever I get the chance. :-)

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  6. Where is this street? Remind me not to view a house there. Great last line: perfect dose of dark humour to settle the story in its place.

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    1. Errr... I LIVE in this house Justin, oh, sorry, I forgot to mention this isn't a fictional piece. BwuhahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

      (Thanks Justin, it's good to have one's sense of humour appreciated)

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  7. oooh now you got me all intrigued about the relationship of the narrator to his Master...

    Nifty tale

    marc nash

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    1. Hiya Marc, I think the relationship would depend heavily on mutual trust, possibly slightly heavier from the narrator's viewpont. Bwuhahahaha!

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  8. Har har.. funny and deeply scary at the same time.. Made me think of the giant in Jack and the beanstalk for some reason..grown up version!!

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    1. Thanks Tom. Jack proved too clever a burglar for the giant though.

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  9. Master should market himself to real estate agents as a means for cleaning up bad neighborhoods. Plenty of demand out there. Fun story.

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    1. Thanks Richard, truth be known, I think many neighbourhoods would truly like to borrow this creature for a week or two. :-)

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  10. Love the twist at the end! Is the master awake during the day though? We got burglarized during broad daylight once, when we were at work.

    Still & all, I think word would get around quickly: this property isn't a healthy one for criminal intent. ;-)

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    1. Thanks Larry, it would be hoped he sleeps very lightly, and would awake at the quietest of footfalls.

      Sorry to hear about your home being violated, I think burglars are scum, and in my mind this would be a fitting fate for them if it were possible.

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  11. I imagine coming home from a late night would be quite scary. I think you would most probably have to phone ahead to confirm it's you and not a burglar!

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    1. Haha! Well they say that the first bite is with the eye, so hopefully the master will recognise his servant before he tastes him.

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  12. I imagine a sign: Thieves Welcome!

    Nice idea.

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    1. It would be a good idea Peter, and maybe with a very big, flashing neon arrow above it. "THIS WAY TO THE LOOT"

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  13. Where can I obtain one of these creatures?

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    1. Hi Icy, I don't know where you could obtain one, but if you find out, then please order one for me too. :-)

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