Author's note:-
The original story “A beer for Joe” was written as a stand-alone piece, this week I decided to write this follow-on, anyone wishing to refresh their memory, or to read Part 1 for the first time can find it here:- A beer for Joe.
Thank you for reading.
Steve Green.
* * * * * *
A beer for Joe (Part 2)
That was eight days ago, I've spent each one of those evenin's since then sittin' on Joe's porch, enjoyin' the late sunshine, enjoyin' the catchin' up. We took it in turns to supply the beer.
He told me about how his family was doin' really good, an' I felt the pride swell in me when I told him about my own, how I became a great-grandaddy four years ago, about my grandson's promotions in the Police Department, and anythin' else I could bring to mind.
Not all of the catchin' up was good. I fought back the tears when Joe told me about his heart attack, and the time he spent in hospital. I should have been there for him, but because of that stupid argument I didn't even know it had happened.
“Don't make no never mind.” He said. “What's gone an' done, is gone an' done. You're here now, an' that matters to me, yup, it sure does.”
I drained my bottle and placed it on the porch planking at the side of my rocker. I wasn't feelin' too strong today, in fact I was feelin' kinda strange, like I was hollow inside, and my head was kinda woozy, dreamy sort of. I shook my head a few times to clear my thoughts and vision, it helped a little.
We'd been chewin' the fat a-while, and were now both sittin' quiet, thinkin' own own thoughts, soakin' up the last of the day's warmth as we watched the sun settin'.
Joe's voice broke the easy silence.
“Sure is another beautifu.......... Oh my... Oh.”
Joe's leg straightened suddenly, and his boot heel made a kinda scrapin' noise on the boards. I heard the clunk as his beer bottle hit the wooden floor on the other side of his chair.
I turned to face him, his body was arched backwards, left hand clutching at his chest.
As he slumped back in his rocker, his face, twisted into an agonised grimace suddenly relaxed, slackened, and paled, his hands fell loosely to his sides.
“Joe?... Joe?"
I grabbed a-hold of his hand, already knowin' the truth of it. I kneaded his fingers between my own, as though I could squeeze some life back into him from myself.
“Joe?.. Joe....?”
The woozy feelin' flooded through me again, stronger this time. I sat back down in my own chair, still gripping Joe's hand tightly.
I needed to get up, get to the phone, call for help, but my body just didn't want to move.
My tablets were in my pocket, and I didn't have the strength to reach for them.
As Joe's fingers began to cool in my grip, I could feel my own body begin to cool too. The hollow feelin' returned, I could feel the life slidin' away from me like water drainin' from a bath tub. I laid my head back as the strange, dreamy feelin' washed through me again.
“Goodbye my old friend.” I managed to whisper.
I took a last, long look at the setting sun as it went down behind the hill.
A feeling of calm and peacefulness filled my whole being as I began to fade away, I wasn't alone, and I wasn't afraid.
I swear I could hear beautiful singing as the darkness took us both to our final sleep.
The End.
©2012 Stephen. J. Green.
OMG they both died? I was going to say I was so glad they had made it up before Jo died, but the ending was a complete surprise. I don't know whether I want to laugh or cry. Very nice conclusion to this two part story. Sweet and heartwarming that they should not leave this world with a rift between them.
ReplyDeleteThanks helen, the idea came to me that being together when they died was maybe something that they would both have wanted.
DeleteFelt bad for him, certainly. Can't imagine a Part 3 coming out of this!
ReplyDeleteFeedback-wise, I strongly advise against dropping the g's from so many verbs for voice. Because you don't alter most of the other words for pronunciation it actually makes it harder to read voice into it.
Para-11 is missing end-quotes.
Me neither John, but then again... just where the hell DID I put that Zombie quill? :-)
DeleteThanks for the feedback, the end-quotes are in place now.
You may be right about dropping too many g's making it difficult to read as a voice, but that is the way it sounded in my head, so I'm going to leave it in place, but thanks again for the advice, much appreciated.
I can think of worse ways to go. This was sweet.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tim, we all have to go sometime, and for these two it seemed as good a way as any, and probably better than many.
Deleteaaahhhhh!, they died...
ReplyDeleteHiya Marsha, yup, they sure did, they'll be drinkin' their beers together on that big porch up in the sky now. :-)
DeleteI really struggle to read stuff where the narrator dies and we're with them at the time. I don't know why, it just jars with me somehow.
ReplyDeleteI find it interesting that the ending is in many ways tragic yet you manage to make it seem uplifting.
Thanks Peter, I wanted it to be a kind of happy ending in a way.
DeleteI can understand what you mean about the difficulty of being with the narrator when they die, I mean, how can they tell you the story when they're dead? Ah well, it's a good job it's fiction really isn't it? :-)
I liked it, Dad. I thought it was a fitting end.
ReplyDeleteLouise.
Hiya Lou, and thank you darling. I was pretty sure you would like this one. :-)
DeleteNice conclusion, glad they made up before the end.
ReplyDelete"I could feel the life slidin' away from me like water drainin' from a bath tub."
My favourite line.
Thanks Craig.
DeleteI like that line too, it says it so well, doesn't it?
I like the timeless quality of the story and the way in which one might just slip away. Although tragic, leaving a high note is the way to go.
ReplyDeleteThanks Aidan, I was hoping readers would see it as a kind of happy ending rather than a sad one.
DeleteI went back and read part 1 - what a lovely piece you've done here! It hit the emotional spots while being sweet.
ReplyDeleteShen, thank you, this two-parter is a little different from many of my stories, and I've really enjoyed writing it. :-)
DeleteSo glad they both were enjoying themselves when they went. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteThanks Janel, they were friends again, and that was important to both of them.
DeleteI liked that he had a peaceful passing knowing that Joe was there on the other side, waiting.
ReplyDeleteThanks Brinda, lets hope that there is plenty of evening sunshine and cold beers where they have gone to. :-)
DeleteWhen I started reading, I was worried that this sequel couldn't live up to the impact of the first. I should have had more faith.
ReplyDeleteI wondered if one might die, but did not guess at both. Sad but kind of beautiful at the same time, Steve. I daring piece and I think you pull it off.
Thanks John, I actually wrote this on an impulse, I never intended to add to the original story, but the idea popped into my head, so I thought, why not?
Delete