Friday, 15 October 2010

Picking up the tab

He screamed like a bitch when I ripped his fingernails out, even through the gag he made plenty of noise.

I tossed the dripping pliers onto the pile of tools on the table, then waited....

Eventually he stopped thrashing around as the pain dulled. The leather straps held tight, the chair stayed solid on the floor.

“I'll bet you're wondering why this is happening?” I said as I removed the gag.

The thing in the chair sobbed and mewled, tear-flooded eyes downcast.

“Eleven seventeen East Hardaker Avenue mean anything to you?” I asked him.

He raised his head and took a good look at me, I could see the connection being made.

“Look, she never told me she was married, how could I know?”

“All the pictures around the house of me and her would give most people a clue, anyway this isn't about you screwing my wife.”

“Look, I... She was... ”

“I already told you, this isn't about you screwing my wife. I've been impotent for years, and she misses the physical side that I can't do no more, so we have an arrangement, I always know who and when, and I give her the space she needs. I love my wife, and she loves me, she uses men like you, but she loves ME! Comprendez?

“Please... look... I... I'll never see her again...”

“Oh, I already know that.”

“So... why?...” He said, lips quivering, eyes streaming, snot and blood dripping.

“Because you took advantage, that's why.”


“You should have left the house when she asked you to, you should have left my booze alone when she told you to, and you shouldn't have slapped her and then fallen asleep in my bed.”

I refastened the gag tightly around his mouth.

His eyes bulged as he watched me pick up the secateurs from the table...

“Now, I reckon you've just about paid for the bed, so I figure you still have to pick up the tab for the slap, and half a bottle of Jack Daniels.”

©2010 Stephen. J. Green.


  1. I think everybody has revenge and torture fantasies. I'm relieved you don't exercise yours often. Or at least, I hope you don't.

  2. Ha Ha, no John, not very often, this is just fiction, honestly. :-)

  3. Ouch. Can you give me her address, just in case I'm ever tempted to make the same mistake?

  4. Hi Rol, 1117 East Hardaker Avenue would be a good place to avoid. :-)

  5. Oh, brutal. But not undeserved.

  6. Remind me never to get your angry Steve. Oh wait, I don't have those, um, parts. The husband and wife are truly diabolical characters here.

  7. Oooh... nice. Well, I mean nasty, but nice writing!

  8. Hi guys thanks for the comments.

    Tim, a man should never take advantage, eh?

    Rachel, it sounds like a marriage made in heaven, doesn't it? :-)

    Placebythefire, thank you, I was going for the attention-grabber with the first line. I still cringe when I read it myself. :-)

  9. Jesus, and I thought my flash piece was brutal. Great stuff!

  10. The last line had me cracking up, just the way it was set up and delivered. Dark comedy at its best.

  11. Thanks for reading,

    Chris, Yeah, this fella certainly knows how to react to a situation, and he wasn't listening to any excuses either.

    The F.P.L. HAHA! The guy in the gag was in stitches too. :-)

  12. I like it. Very, very brutal and twisted. It's quite the trip. People should know their manners and honestly rudeness has to be better punished.

  13. Snip-snip and a little gratuity extracted. Ooh yes, that's the way we like it. Some lines should never be crossed. Sadly, this man didn't discover that earlier.

    Good story.

  14. Whoa-That first line was a doozy. Great dialogue and slow unfold of the complete picture. And killer last line. I was and wasn't glad it was over. Still kinda reeling...good job!-Tiffany

  15. There is being a guest and being a pest. Note to self: When sampling Steve's wife, do not also sample his booze. And the slapping thing, well, talk about bad manners.

  16. Interesting twist. I like the way that he's still getting revenge but instead of the usual reason why it's something different. Those questions push the story in a way leading to an interesting affect.

  17. There are rules in an open marriage and all parties need to be aware of them and know the consequences of breaking them. He's learning the consequences & I bet he never breaks the rules again. ;)

  18. Nothing like a bit of gruesomeness to set one's good mood off on a Sunday morning :D

  19. Hiya everyone, thank you all for reading,

    Harry Markov, manners cost nothing, and rudeness sometimes is absolutely unforgiveable.

    Virginia, Thank you, I hit the target then.

    Stephen, those secateurs were very very sharp.

    Tiffany, Thank you, my style has definitely evolved over the last few weeks.

    Harry, HaHa, a man's booze is sacred, and definitely don't do the slappy-type thing.

    Aidan, I love deflection in stories, this one definitely had the impact that I was hoping for.

    Vandamir, I would be willing to stake my life on that.

    Maria, HaHa, I'm happy to oblige. Have a nice day. :)

    Once again, thank you all for reading, and for taking the time to comment.

  20. That was so twisted. Loved the reasoning behind it. Great work!

  21. Hi Ganymeder, thank you for reading, I'm glad that you liked it.

    Yes, this fellow sure knows how to teach someone the error of their ways. :-)

  22. Great writing, excellently twisted mind. I like. *grins evilly*

  23. Hi Heather, thank you for reading, my twisted mind (and even more twisted quill) love writing stuff like this.

    Bwuhahahahaha Mwuhahahahahahahahaha

    "Grins even more evilly than Heather"


  24. oh wow. I have to say some twisted part of me really loved this. I am just a fan of when someone gets theirs... and revenge is just so sweet sometimes.

    Gosh I'm bad. lol

  25. Terrific writing. Chilling story.

  26. I love that his reasons weren't the usual suspects. It actually made me chuckle. Great dark humor

  27. Hi guys, thank you for reading.

    A.S.Boudreau, Well that Jack Daniels was awfully expensive... :-)

    G.P.Ching, thank you, you are very kind. :-)

    Jax, although on the surface it is a horribly vicious story, I did have my tongue firmly in my cheek when I wrote it. :-)

  28. Really good sounds like someone I used to know....but you're far nicer, so couldn't be him... :D

  29. Kat, thank you very much, both for the comment, and the compliment, and if you used to know someone like that, the farther away from them you are the better. :-)

  30. Oooh that was scary. That first line made my fingers hurt! I would not want to mess with him, that's for sure.

  31. Hi Rebecca, thanks for reading, sorry about the fingers, I hope it won't slow down your typing too much. :-)

  32. Brutal. The guy certainly should have done his business and left. I bet he doesn't get greedy again--if he makes it through this, that is. Good story!

  33. Eric, thank you for reading, I sincerely doubt that this guy is going to be doing any more business.

  34. Never slap a man's wife. Or drink his Jack. Great story!

  35. Thanks Laurita, I think this guy and his tool collection made that quite clear. :-)