A darkening world (Part 1)
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(A darkening world part 2)
There was a time when our kind could exist in only the deepest, darkest holes and caverns beneath the ground.
As the death-bringing, skin-scorching suns above began to die, so our world grew.
We emerged, bred, and flourished in our new kingdom, as more of the hated skyfires dimmed and finally darkened, we swept across the Nightland.
The detestable Lightlings flee from us, they run from the silky life-giving blackness that sustains our eternal existence. They scamper to remain in their searing heat-filled slice of this planet, desperately clinging to the clawhold left to them.
Yes, they run....
And we follow.
We follow, watch, plot, and wait.
Be afraid Lightlings, we will feed on your fear, for we are here, just one step beyond the light's edge.
We will have you, and your piece of this world. Soon.... Very soon.
Your only remaining sun has begun to flicker, just as the others did.
The time of the Dayland is almost done.
Our time is near.
And we are hungry.
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A darkening world (part 1)
Darklight (A darkening world part 3)
©2010 Stephen. J. Green.
Oh, the Darklings are much more sinister than I imagined from last week's post.
ReplyDeleteI love the creepy aspects of this. This warning to the Darklings is very potent.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Rachel, I'm glad that you liked it.
ReplyDeleteWow. That was scary. My favorite words were:
ReplyDelete"silky life-giving blackness that sustains our eternal existence." Yikes.
Outofthewastebasket, Thank you for reading, I seem to be ticking the boxes I aimed for with this.
ReplyDeleteDeliciously creepy and ominous. Just the way I like my flash.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading and commenting Laurita, I seem to be drifting more and more toward this short dark style now.
ReplyDeleteReminded me of the morlocks, nice piece of post apocolypitical fiction. You could imagine a figure watching from a cavemouth, pretty creepy.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and commenting Adam, I hope one day to have the same impact that you did with 'A story of my early days'
ReplyDeleteAnd I also hope that I can give the gracious replies that you did if it ever happens. :-)
Great sequel! Wonderful prose. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteGlad that you liked it Ganymeder, Thanks for reading and commenting.
ReplyDeleteOminous is the right word. Very well written.
ReplyDeletePlacebythefire, thank you, I'm very new to this, and I am really pleased at how my stories have been accepted.
ReplyDeleteJust now read last week's post with this one and I like the voice of a Lightling followed by the Darklings. The Lightling sounded as a single voice part of other voices, that is, unique (personal-use of "I" introduced at the end), while the Darkling sounded like a collective ("we") voice. I love that contrast and, if playing off "normal" symbolic conceptions of light and dark, very apt.
ReplyDeleteHi Melissa, I wrote the first one as a stand-alone story, but after the responses I decided to add to it, and the way Darklings was written was the way I heard the narrators voice in my imagination, a predator not a grazer.
ReplyDeleteHi Eric, John has a good point, the preacher's voice does work very well.
Thank you both for reading and commenting
Hi Steve. I love the descriptions, lyrical at times. I'll go and read the prequel now. And I'll look at this again with the preacher's voice but I can imagine Richard Burton's deep, ominous tone very well..:)
ReplyDeleteOh I'm so glad you did this. I love it, and do hope you continue this.
ReplyDeleteBut, I think it needs read in a female voice. :)
Very cool. I can feel the darkness creeping in just in reading this... :D
ReplyDeleteL'Aussie, Crystal and A.S.Boudreau, Thank you all for your very kind comments, I think everyone reads stories with an inner voice that they think suits the story, also depending on who they picture the narrator to look like. :-)
ReplyDeleteI may put a third, or even fourth species into this story some time in the future. :)
I thought the voice was interesting. I agree with Wiswell; there is a southern preacher sound to it. Liked this. Great balance to last weeks post.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and commenting G.P. The preacher voice does seem to be a popular choice. :-)
ReplyDeleteOoooh, Darklings eh? Marvellously ominous. Love the idea of the suns going out one by one until.... MUNCH
ReplyDeleteHaha, Hiya Maria, thanks for popping in. :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Steve, that was very creepy. Well done you.
ReplyDeleteHi Rebecca, thank you for reading. :-)
ReplyDeleteLove the voice here and it's viewpoint seeing everything cleanly from the dark.
ReplyDelete