Friday, 18 July 2014
Aware
I am aware.
It shouldn't be possible for me to be aware... of anything, but I am.
I am aware of the anaesthetics when they flow through the catheter, and the nutrients that keep me alive.
I am aware when they harvest my dreams, and of the contract that brought me to this living hell.
One year of my life they said. One year's worth of dreams, then a full pardon and freedom.
I am also aware, somehow, that the year has long ago come and gone.
They will never let me wake up, never let me go.
When my dreams die, I will die with them.
Yes, I am aware, and that awareness itself is my punishment.
©2014 Stephen. J. Green.
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Oh chillingly horrific science fiction Steve! As I first read this it started to remind me of all those bodies feeding the machines in the matrix - what an awful punishment to have to endure.
ReplyDeleteThanks Helen. I didn't have the matrix in mind when I wrote this, just a prisoner looking for a quick sentence reduction, and ending up with something far worse.
DeleteWow. This is like a Philip K. Dick novel boiled down to a prose poem. Powerful stuff!
ReplyDeleteThanks Katherine. It is rather vague, like a lot of my short flashes. I do like to leave details to the readers' own imagination when I can. I also do very much like to work with this kind of flash.
DeleteWhat a horrific hell to have to....exist in (I was going to say live, but this is not living). Great horror/sci-fi Steve!
ReplyDeleteThanks Roslyn. The truly horrific part is the knowledge of his predicament, I think.
DeleteScary stuff! Nightmarish in fact.
ReplyDeleteThanks Natalie. I think they may harvest his nightmares too, as well as his dreams.
Deleteugh one of those 'locked-in body' syndromes. With only the mind functioning I'd like to think I could cope, but I could be fooling myself. I wrote a story about a living statue who eventually became locked into his body like an actual statue, but he couldn't deal with the reality of it having feigned it all his life
ReplyDeleteI think most people would just prefer death rather than his situation, unless, unlike him, they had hope that they may eventually be released from it.
DeleteThat is a creepy form of punishment, Steve. It's one thing to be stuck in a prison of your own making, but to be stuck with the knowledge that there's nothing you can do and no way of escape, that your life is boiled down to neural transmissions that amount to nothing more than muscle twitches, is hell on earth. It like waiting to die, but the wait is unbearably long. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThanks Stephen. I think that the pure fact of having no other distractions would ensure that it would seem like an eternity. His is definitely not a position to envy
DeleteHoly crap, that's terrifying.
ReplyDeleteHi Catherine, it hit the spot then?
DeleteYou certainly wouldn't envy his circumstances, would you?
Ooh, freaky idea, to be aware but entirely helpless and unable to communicate.
ReplyDeleteHi Richard, I think being able to communicate wouldn't help him at all, the people who put him there wouldn't care, to them he is a commodity, and that makes it even more horrible.
DeleteI see what you mean. As such, it doesn't much matter that he can't communicate.
DeleteSelling your dreams for freedom, it's terrifying yes, though somehow can be seen as a fair deal, if the situation was slightly different, but being aware of this one happening, to your body, to your mind, feeling every bit of it without being able to cease it, limbless, voiceless...very, very scary. It's bordering with paranoia.
ReplyDeleteHiya Cindy, and thank you for the great comment.
DeleteWhen I wrote this I had the idea that the dreams of certain people were a marketable commodity, and this man's dreams were a bit more special than others, therefore the reluctance to let him wake up, keep that goose laying the golden eggs so to speak. He wasn't however, supposed to be aware of what was happening. It was this awareness that created the hell in which he lived.
An interesting thought though, no-one has queried why he was sentenced in the first place, it could be that his crime was so heinous that most people would think he deserved the fate he ended up with.
I can kind of picture this being done to a sociopath, because to some extent this narrator sounds calm. Could be in the line of Hannibal for example. I can even imagine him figuring out how to create dreams that are unsellable, something the market can't work with. Maybe even disturbing the next host, if that is the case in the market, of the dreams with his own consciousness. I know I delve too much, but it's a cool concept and it allows countless speculations!
DeleteIt is definitely a concept with many speculations. I didn't go into the story deep enough to furnish any background details, his crime, his society, his personality.
DeleteI do like your interpretation though. Another scenario is that he may have been imprisoned for nothing more sinister than falling in love with someone.
Orwell's 1984 shows us that just a thought may be construed as a crime.
That could be the case too! If it be a dystopian world any slight detour from the norm could have resulted in his incarceration and this later brutality. It's definitely open to interpretations, though I do love it the way it is, keep away from any information as to why and who, but focusing on the nature of this dual evil, his own and the one being done to him. If you ever consider extending it though you have plenty to play with.
DeleteIt's very unlikely I'll be adding anything to this Cindy, I quite like it as it is, it says enough, but leaves room for the reader's own imagination too.
DeleteThank you very much for all this feedback. It's heartwarming to know that such a short story can cause people to think deeply about it, it makes the writing of it that much more worthwhile. :-)
Way creepy, Steve! You did a bang-up job of setting a claustrophobic atmosphere. Made me want to thrash my way out of somewhere, anywhere, just to break free into a full run and to fill my lungs with clear air… It stirred up my brainwaves, sent me everywhere from thinking of things the captors did with the dreams to wondering if the prisoner could muster a nightmare that would kill them before they knew what hit them to finding the piece analogous to cognizance of something so wondrous or horrific that it’d hurt to know it, while ignorance of that wonder or horror is bliss to others... And in that regard, this tiny little flash became for me like Monsieur Creosote’s wafer-thin mint!
ReplyDeleteOh Miss Alister, you do bring me lots of smiles, thank you so much for this comment, it is like a story in itself. The last sentence evoked some explosive images in my head. I remember the Monty Python sketch that you refer to, the massively fat Monsieur Creosote eating an elephant's weight in food at the restaurant, then exploding when he finished the meal off with... "Wen smerl waffeur" (Pardon my French accent.) LOL.
Delete“I’m absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.” That’s it! So gross, so hilarious. I love stuff that pulls me two ways. Well, I’m glad you enjoy my silliness, I like pinging off your words. I’m the stray on your doorstep: you feed me, I’ll come back : ) So I’m here today to check my vision: on the one hand I’m relieved I read the FF list right, but on the other I miss your weekly flash. Well, of course you’re allowed breaks! And I hope this one is for fun : )
DeleteHaha!! Hi again Miss Alister, and thank you for the return visit. Yes I do enjoy your silliness very much, your play on words and meanings tickle my sense of humour very much, so I'll be continuing to leave food on that doorstep. LOL
DeleteI haven't posted last Friday, or this Friday as I've been away on holiday, (And yes, we had lots of fun too) But as I was leaving my laptop at home I wouldn't have been able to read and answer any comments, but hopefully I'll have something ready to post by next Friday though. :-)
Once again, thank you for taking the time to pop back over and comment again.
Sees ya on the #FF. :-)
Hi Steve: I published my "wrap-party" post for my Friday Flash serial today, and gave you a shout-out:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.katherine-hajer.com/the-eyrea/2014/7/13/what-the-hell-was-that
Hi Katherine, Thank you for the shout out, and the "Wrap party" link, I've had a pop over and read your post. Thank you for the enjoyment of your Friday Flash serial, its been a pleasure to read, and to watch it grow week by week. I hope that at some point in the future you decide to put together a second series. :-)
DeleteThat was really hellish Steve. I often shudder at what it might be like to be awake when you are locked in your body and your words evoked that nicely.
ReplyDeleteThanks Casey. I did wonder if this actually happened to someone, if the circumstances would send them insane, and if so if it would affect the type, and quality of the dreams that were being harvested.
DeleteOh, what a horrible situation to be in!
ReplyDeleteHi Icy, sorry for the late response but I've been on holiday.
DeleteAnd yeah, you certainly wouldn't ever want to find yourself in his position, would you?