FLASH FICTION:-- HORROR, SCI-FI, HUMOUR, CRIME, SLICE OF LIFE, ETC.

Friday 16 November 2012

A small sound


It was a small sound, such a very small sound, barely audible, on the fringe of my hearing.

But still... it was a sound.

Silence prevailed here, the sound of nothing, the sound of a butterfly resting on a leaf, the sound of a cloud floating by, the sound of a flower growing, the sound of a tree sighing.

A sound can mean only one thing.

We are discovered.


©2012 Stephen. J. Green

24 comments:

  1. I really like that, no sound is a sound. You said so much with so few words!

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    1. Thanks Helen, this was just a snippet that came to mind, I was tempted to expand it, but decided to leave it as it was.

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  2. Hide! Read in the right voice, I could imagine this being very effective. It was fun to go through.

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    1. Thanks John, I think this is something that could be read as either light-hearted or sinister, depending on your inner voice, and how you interpret it.

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  3. The importance of a tiny change, brought to life.

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    1. Hiya Larry, sometimes tiny changes can have massive consequences, can't they?

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  4. Such an ominous ending to such a poetic beginning. Nice one.

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    1. Thank you Tim, John's interpretation and your own are almost opposites, echoing the ambiguity of the story.

      I think this could be thought of a someone or something being found by a predator, or something as innocent as children playing hide and seek.

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  5. Another bonzai bombshell. Who knew that small could be beautiful? It's looking like it was a fun Friday, yesterday.
    How low can drabbles go, I wonder, and still remain punchy?

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    1. Thank you AB. I love the expression "Bonsai bombshell".

      At 69 words this is not my shortest flash, I posted one back in May called "42 The meaning of life" which was 42 words long, you can find it here if you would like to read it.

      http://greenstephenj.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/42-meaning-of-life.html

      Thank you for the very complimentary comment. :-)

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  6. Oh... now there's a nice one... well done!

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    1. Hiya Cathy, thank you for the very kind words. :-)

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  7. I enjoy these smaller pieces of work, my friend.Small and powerful yet again.I like the duality it represents:a small change can indeed have a large impact. Whether for good or ill it really depends on which side the coin lands.Well done!

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    1. Thank you E.J. Although I do write longer stories, some stretching to around 3k, most of my flashes tend to be in the 200-500 word bracket, this is the area I most enjoy working in, and it's always a real confidence boost when it works for the reader.

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  8. Wonderful, Steve! You've captured the utter silence of this world so well that the last line conveys, for me, how terrifying even the softest of sounds would be.

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    1. Hiya Dawn, and welcome. Thank you for the very kind comment, the story is definitely open to interpretation, but like yourself readers are mostly favouring the sinister angle.

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  9. Lots of sound in this week's flashes! Loved this. There was a real sense of panic in that last line.

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    1. Thank you Icy, being discovered can quite often turn a situation from safety to danger.

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  10. I know you could take this to be sinister if you thought the narrator was hiding from someone but I thought it could have been children playing hide and seek or simply someone trying to find some peace in a secluded spot and having others come close to that. Wonderfully atmospheric piece, Steve, I really enjoyed how much of a punch that delivered.

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    1. Kath, thank you for the very lovely comment. It has been good to note the different ways readers have viewed and interpreted this flash.

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  11. You have a real knack for these extra short pieces Steve. Really fires up the imagination. Makes me wonder who they are and who discovered them,

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    1. Thanks Craig, I never really decided who, or what they may be, probably not human though.

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  12. Should it be horror evoked from that last line, or should it be a light emotion, game of hide and seek?

    I like guessing! For me it worked deffinitely as a horrific moment, I got this very poetic, mystic tone in the previous lines and then... Great stuff!

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    1. Thank you Cindy, like yourself, most people see this as a horror moment rather than something more innocent.

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