We are told that if we ever leave The Dome, we will never be allowed to return.
In all my life I have never heard of one single person who has left The Dome.
Inside The Dome there is safety, comfort, warmth, light, food.
Inside The Dome there is repetition, uniformity, sameness.
We are told that outside The Dome there is danger, starvation, radiation, mutation.
These are just words that no-one understands the meaning of.
We have been given explanations of these words, but without comparison, without experience, they still have no meaning.
I have heard of other things outside The Dome.
Other words that also have no meaning. Forbidden words.
I have overheard them whispered in dark corners.
Words like adventure, excitement, courage, freedom.
I have no idea what these words mean.
But I intend to find out.
©2012 Stephen. J. Green.
Authors note:
Since posting this short story I have written an expanded version, a 3-parter detailing the society within the dome, and the MC,s decision to leave the dome and what becomes of him.
The story is entitled MORE THAN DREAMS and the first part can be found here:-
MORE THAN DREAMS (Part 1)
Thank you for reading.
Steve Green.
Best to stay in The Dome. It's freezing out there!
ReplyDeleteI think I'm with you there Peter, I've just got home after freezing my butt off for eight hours at work, and I wish I could work in a nice warm dome just now. :-)
DeleteAh, if you have no word for freedom, can you miss it?
ReplyDeleteI find this interesting because you have no really strong oppressive force, just repetition, uniformity, sameness and fear of the outside world.
There is no real way to tell if this is ultimately dystopian or utopian. He may leave, fall sick through radiation and get eaten by mutants... The Dome may be the good guys, but there will always be non-conformists.
I think really I didn't do a good enough job with this one John, there should have been more meat on it. My idea was of a "Utopian" society that was getting stale, but I failed to go into enough detail.
DeleteBut, hey ho, there's always next week, isn't there? :-)
I did wonder if you'd purposefully left it light to see if we all assumed the society had gone stale (or rotten), without you specifically saying so, just to play with expectations... =)
DeleteHi again John, when writing I am mostly drawn towards brevity, I find if satisfying to make something work on a low word count.
DeleteI also think a reader's imagination fills in the blanks probably better than I could by adding a few more paragraphs.
I'm not totally unhappy with this story, I quite like it actually, but I feel that I made it a bit too short and possibly without enough detail to project what I could see.
Now that it is posted I am reluctant to alter any of the wording, or add more to it, what I may do at some future point is do a re-write and make it a longer story detailing the society, the outside world, and his escape, possibly a two or three parter. :-)
Inspired by King?
ReplyDeleteActually no John, I haven't read King's 'Under the Dome'. I think more probably inspired by "The Island" or "Brave New World", or maybe even "Logan's Run". It isn't always easy to say just where the ideas come from, is it?
DeleteUp until just before I posted this story it was called "In The Zone", but I felt the title pointed more towards a part of a city rather than a totally insular society.
Ooohh, Forbidden words. Always a sign that something's not quite right.
ReplyDeleteHiya Tim, the thing with "forbidden things", even when they are forbidden "for our own good" (har har), is that they just become more attractive and wantable. ( Just look at what the prohibition era did) :-)
DeleteInteresting story. I know this is a really short piece, and the character can't be fully fleshed out, but this narrator doesn't sound the type to be ready for the outside world. Inside the dome, even if it is a totalitarian society, is a much easier life than outside in the harsh realities of the post-apocalyptic world.
ReplyDeleteHi Eric, thank you for the very generous words. An easy life doesn't attract everyone, even if they are brought up to expect it, I think there will always be some that are more adventurous than others, even at the risk of their own lives.
DeleteReminds me a little of The Giver. Liked the world, but yeah, would have liked a little more detail.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sonia, I had to google "The Giver" And can definitely see the connections. I think I should have added more detail too.
DeleteI've got shivers! Really nice.
ReplyDeleteHi Catherine, and thank you. I find any kind of controlled society creepy, regardless of how benign that control seems to be.
DeleteI liked the play with words, and just the fact that the dome leaves an empty enough that he's willing to leave makes me think it's more stale Utopia than Utopia.
ReplyDeleteThanks Aidan. Even in the most comfortable of societies, human nature will always throw up someone who wants to know what is "Out there".
DeleteSteve, you may think me silly, but this sounds just like a teenager's great need to escape home (to me). :)
ReplyDeleteSuper intrigue here, and I like that you leave the possibility of a serial...hint hint.
Thank you Deanna. No I don't find the idea silly at all, in fact it's rather a good concept that I hadn't thought of myself, but it certainly fits the bill as teenagers are often the most adventurous, fearless, and rebellious age group we have. They can also be the ones most dissatisfied with what they are told they must accept too. :-)
DeleteAs I replied to John Xero, I may just decide to do a more fleshed-out story and spread it over two or three weeks. :-)
The first few sentences reminded me of the movie Bio-Dome Judge Dredd, the Simpsons movie and a few other things. Such a complex and interesting world described in so little words, very well done Steve :).
ReplyDeleteCraig, thank you very much. I don't think the brevity of this one has worked for everyone, and I'm happy that you liked it.
DeleteVery intriguing, the idea of being captive within a space - now you must write a follow up I want to know what he actually finds outside the Dome!
ReplyDeleteThank you Helen, I have actually started to put together a full version of this story, I know it is not a new concept, and has in fact been done many times before by various authors and film makers, but I'll see where the idea takes me and hopefully post the first part of a possible three next week. :-)
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