tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post7759151534478361916..comments2023-04-07T13:32:15.954+01:00Comments on The Twisted Quill: In The DomeSteve Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-14925145160057674462012-02-05T10:45:49.852+00:002012-02-05T10:45:49.852+00:00Thank you Helen, I have actually started to put to...Thank you Helen, I have actually started to put together a full version of this story, I know it is not a new concept, and has in fact been done many times before by various authors and film makers, but I'll see where the idea takes me and hopefully post the first part of a possible three next week. :-)Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-65891627875895731572012-02-05T00:53:22.927+00:002012-02-05T00:53:22.927+00:00Very intriguing, the idea of being captive within ...Very intriguing, the idea of being captive within a space - now you must write a follow up I want to know what he actually finds outside the Dome!Helen A. Howellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12748128819820230841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-60516820107579887692012-02-04T18:55:19.836+00:002012-02-04T18:55:19.836+00:00Craig, thank you very much. I don't think the ...Craig, thank you very much. I don't think the brevity of this one has worked for everyone, and I'm happy that you liked it.Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-45945878276047856382012-02-04T18:28:08.069+00:002012-02-04T18:28:08.069+00:00The first few sentences reminded me of the movie B...The first few sentences reminded me of the movie Bio-Dome Judge Dredd, the Simpsons movie and a few other things. Such a complex and interesting world described in so little words, very well done Steve :).Craig Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07176851401465801580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-77134369482379327982012-02-04T16:25:40.693+00:002012-02-04T16:25:40.693+00:00Thank you Deanna. No I don't find the idea sil...Thank you Deanna. No I don't find the idea silly at all, in fact it's rather a good concept that I hadn't thought of myself, but it certainly fits the bill as teenagers are often the most adventurous, fearless, and rebellious age group we have. They can also be the ones most dissatisfied with what they are told they must accept too. :-)<br /><br />As I replied to John Xero, I may just decide to do a more fleshed-out story and spread it over two or three weeks. :-)Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-20884846795586862962012-02-04T16:03:15.319+00:002012-02-04T16:03:15.319+00:00Steve, you may think me silly, but this sounds jus...Steve, you may think me silly, but this sounds just like a teenager's great need to escape home (to me). :) <br />Super intrigue here, and I like that you leave the possibility of a serial...hint hint.Deanna Schrayerhttp://theothersideofdeanna.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-90191899413393832692012-02-04T14:34:26.054+00:002012-02-04T14:34:26.054+00:00Hi again John, when writing I am mostly drawn towa...Hi again John, when writing I am mostly drawn towards brevity, I find if satisfying to make something work on a low word count.<br /><br />I also think a reader's imagination fills in the blanks probably better than I could by adding a few more paragraphs.<br /><br />I'm not totally unhappy with this story, I quite like it actually, but I feel that I made it a bit too short and possibly without enough detail to project what I could see. <br /><br />Now that it is posted I am reluctant to alter any of the wording, or add more to it, what I may do at some future point is do a re-write and make it a longer story detailing the society, the outside world, and his escape, possibly a two or three parter. :-)Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-85700916416993186752012-02-04T14:17:22.469+00:002012-02-04T14:17:22.469+00:00I did wonder if you'd purposefully left it lig...I did wonder if you'd purposefully left it light to see if we all assumed the society had gone stale (or rotten), without you specifically saying so, just to play with expectations... =)John Xerohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17492709629314280633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-35186630231820389872012-02-04T12:14:46.124+00:002012-02-04T12:14:46.124+00:00Thanks Aidan. Even in the most comfortable of soci...Thanks Aidan. Even in the most comfortable of societies, human nature will always throw up someone who wants to know what is "Out there".Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-80657490919189750592012-02-04T12:11:03.574+00:002012-02-04T12:11:03.574+00:00Hi Catherine, and thank you. I find any kind of co...Hi Catherine, and thank you. I find any kind of controlled society creepy, regardless of how benign that control seems to be.Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-37314400047594331112012-02-04T11:57:54.348+00:002012-02-04T11:57:54.348+00:00Thanks Sonia, I had to google "The Giver"...Thanks Sonia, I had to google "The Giver" And can definitely see the connections. I think I should have added more detail too.Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-46852654755230059812012-02-04T11:57:03.725+00:002012-02-04T11:57:03.725+00:00Hi Eric, thank you for the very generous words. An...Hi Eric, thank you for the very generous words. An easy life doesn't attract everyone, even if they are brought up to expect it, I think there will always be some that are more adventurous than others, even at the risk of their own lives.Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-2955290874860591502012-02-04T03:29:46.154+00:002012-02-04T03:29:46.154+00:00I liked the play with words, and just the fact tha...I liked the play with words, and just the fact that the dome leaves an empty enough that he's willing to leave makes me think it's more stale Utopia than Utopia.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14170148559429001125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-63887338775927160782012-02-04T03:28:02.313+00:002012-02-04T03:28:02.313+00:00I've got shivers! Really nice.I've got shivers! Really nice.Cat Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160039271069426174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-76254505894575302762012-02-03T21:36:47.518+00:002012-02-03T21:36:47.518+00:00Reminds me a little of The Giver. Liked the world,...Reminds me a little of The Giver. Liked the world, but yeah, would have liked a little more detail.Sonia Lalhttp://storytreasury.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-14120080207508278702012-02-03T20:49:14.448+00:002012-02-03T20:49:14.448+00:00I think I'm with you there Peter, I've jus...I think I'm with you there Peter, I've just got home after freezing my butt off for eight hours at work, and I wish I could work in a nice warm dome just now. :-)Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-64570291762609043212012-02-03T20:46:44.452+00:002012-02-03T20:46:44.452+00:00Interesting story. I know this is a really short p...Interesting story. I know this is a really short piece, and the character can't be fully fleshed out, but this narrator doesn't sound the type to be ready for the outside world. Inside the dome, even if it is a totalitarian society, is a much easier life than outside in the harsh realities of the post-apocalyptic world.Eric J. Krausehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05774468607814244185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-41781026289715594552012-02-03T20:36:30.463+00:002012-02-03T20:36:30.463+00:00Hiya Tim, the thing with "forbidden things&qu...Hiya Tim, the thing with "forbidden things", even when they are forbidden "for our own good" (har har), is that they just become more attractive and wantable. ( Just look at what the prohibition era did) :-)Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-91185144256353600732012-02-03T20:31:36.497+00:002012-02-03T20:31:36.497+00:00Actually no John, I haven't read King's &#...Actually no John, I haven't read King's 'Under the Dome'. I think more probably inspired by "The Island" or "Brave New World", or maybe even "Logan's Run". It isn't always easy to say just where the ideas come from, is it?<br /><br />Up until just before I posted this story it was called "In The Zone", but I felt the title pointed more towards a part of a city rather than a totally insular society.Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-82185238556127615662012-02-03T20:26:11.690+00:002012-02-03T20:26:11.690+00:00I think really I didn't do a good enough job w...I think really I didn't do a good enough job with this one John, there should have been more meat on it. My idea was of a "Utopian" society that was getting stale, but I failed to go into enough detail.<br /><br />But, hey ho, there's always next week, isn't there? :-)Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-71167950797665562562012-02-03T18:05:40.847+00:002012-02-03T18:05:40.847+00:00Ooohh, Forbidden words. Always a sign that somethi...Ooohh, Forbidden words. Always a sign that something's not quite right.Tim VanSant Writeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17614259042362664840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-62804941396285758342012-02-03T15:53:45.644+00:002012-02-03T15:53:45.644+00:00Inspired by King?Inspired by King?John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-20547261894431046302012-02-03T13:23:42.999+00:002012-02-03T13:23:42.999+00:00Ah, if you have no word for freedom, can you miss ...Ah, if you have no word for freedom, can you miss it?<br /><br />I find this interesting because you have no really strong oppressive force, just repetition, uniformity, sameness and fear of the outside world.<br /><br />There is no real way to tell if this is ultimately dystopian or utopian. He may leave, fall sick through radiation and get eaten by mutants... The Dome may be the good guys, but there will always be non-conformists.John Xerohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17492709629314280633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947555836132631506.post-51469734629646176682012-02-03T12:34:54.368+00:002012-02-03T12:34:54.368+00:00Best to stay in The Dome. It's freezing out th...Best to stay in The Dome. It's freezing out there!Peter Newmanhttp://www.runpetewrite.comnoreply@blogger.com