New years eve. 23:02
Less than an hour now, man.
I'm going clean at midnight. I've been smoking the stuff for so long now man, it's like.. err..addled my brain... I think.... Maybe... Maybe not... I'm not sure... I can't seem to think straight any... y'know... like... err... any more.
I finished rolling the joint and fired it up. Puffed furiously on it, smoked as fast as I could, I wanted to get as much inside me before midnight as possible, one final splurge.
I'm not giving it up for y'know for like health reasons or nothin' like that, man, everyone knows that a joint a day is medicinal, y'know... don't they man? So my dozen or so a day must have turned me into a super healthy untapped well of sprints, push-ups and star jumps, an' other y'know, like athletic stuff. And god knows, all the relaxing I do must be beneficial too, man.
They say it's addictive, oh man that's such a load of cobblers, I smoke it all the time man, so I should know.. like... y'know... know what I'm talking about.
I stubbed the roach out in the ashtray, grabbed the makings and started working on another.
Y'know, man... I've heard people say that it can cause y'know like.. err... delusions an' paranoia. That's bull, man... Total bull! And when I get to be king of Europe the first thing I'm gonna do is bring out a law making rumours like that illegal.
An' paranoia, I'm gonna make that illegal too, well, I will if nobody manages to get to me first, cos kings have... err... y'know... enemies, lots of enemies. I think so long as I sleep with my head under the covers I should be okay though, I mean... if they can't see me they can't get to me, can they? They can't... can they?
Stub. Grab. Roll. Light.
Yeah, I feel good, man. I can't really see my health improvin' at all when I go clean. My mate Jethro says that as long as the blood I err... y'know... err... vomit up every morning ain't coagulated then I have nothing to worry 'bout, an' he knows... err... y'know... err... knows what he's talking about, man... he's been using the stuff for years too.
Stub. Grab. Roll. Light.
The last one, yeah, definitely the last one, man. Jethro won't half be surprised when I errr... when I err... tell him I'm going clean. He won't understand of course. Well, what is there to understand about it, man? Nothing, that's what. I think... or maybe something. I'm not sure.
I grabbed my stash and went into the bathroom, took a final drag from the joint then threw it into the pan, as I exhaled I upended the polythene bag and poured the contents from that into the pan too.
With a feeling of supreme confidence and superiority I pulled the chain and flushed the weed out of my life.
I can already feel the new me coursing through my veins, I feel on top of the err... on errr... top of the world, man.
All this new me coursing through my veins is making me kinda jumpy, y'know man... like... err... edgy.
What was that noise? Why am I itching all over like this? Why do I feel so restless?
I picked up the phone and punched the numbers.
The phone rang, and rang, what the hell was he doing that was taking him so long to pick up? Friends are supposed to be there for each other aren't they?
Aaaah... At last!
“Jethro? Hiya man, what're ya up to? ... Uh? Oh... sorry man, tell Babs I'm sorry too. Look I need you to come over... Yeah, like... err.. now man, I'm having some kind of panic attack and I can't face it on my own, I need you here with me man.... And Jethro?... Bring your stash with you man, I seem to have run out.”
What the... err... what the... err... hell, next year man... next year I'm definitely gonna go clean man.
©2011 Stephen. J. Green.
Happy New Year everyone.