Four fingers...
The view was magnificent from this angle. The river at the base of the cliff a meandering cotton thread sewn through the lush foliage.
Three fingers...
The passing eagle eyed me curiously, possibly wondering if this strange interloper was a threat to its nearby children.
Two fingers...
Yes, “V” for victory, or “V” for screw you. I have lived my life without fear, without limits, without a voice telling me what I couldn't do.
One finger...
The middle... the strongest, held for much longer than I expected. As it weakened and lost its hold on the tiny ledge the thought in my mind as I fell was the probable headlines...
“Casey Burbridge the world famous freestyle rock climber, known by many as The Human Spider, dies in 2,000 ft fall....”
©2011 Stephen. J. Green.
Very clever the way you wrote this - in the face of death, he still wasn't afraid!
ReplyDeleteNice story!
Nice. Just watching a free-climber makes me nervous.
ReplyDeleteIngenious story. Fresh POV and character. Love it!
ReplyDeleteThat's courage! Well done!
ReplyDeleteWow, I was thinking he'd jumped and was counting down. Well done!
ReplyDelete@Helen – Thank you, I think fear is a concept these free-climbers just don't identify with.
ReplyDelete@Tim – Me too, I'm terrified of heights.
@Lara – Thanks, I have wondered what it would be like to feel so detached from being in such a predicament.
@Janet – Hi, and thank you, I really enjoyed writing this one. :-)
@FAR – Thanks, I never thought of that, but I can understand how it could read that way up until the last couple of lines. :-)
At least he died doing what he loved. Not many can say that. Of course, they're still living, aren't they? :)
ReplyDeleteA good piece of clever writing, Steve. The title lead me astray on the narrator, but I loved being lead where you wanted me to go. In fact, it gave me a chuckle when the ending pieced it all together and I realized what you did. Excellent work there, my friend. Well done.
Great images that play nicely with the dawning realization of where this is going. There was a neat article in National Geographic lately on the freestyle climbers in yosemite and one of them who attempted a climb and paused most of the way through it because of the damp rock face. But, you either go up, or you follow spidey and after a gut-check he pumped the final holds to the summit.
ReplyDelete@Stephen - Thank you very much. I have taken enjoyment in writing all of my flashes, some work better than others, and comments like this tell me that I am doing something right.
ReplyDelete@Aidan - Thanks. The people who do this really are so amazing, aren't they? It makes me cringe seeing climbers dangling from ropes at a great height, but these guys and gals who don't even use ropes... well, they are just unbelievable.
I really like the way you slowly unveil this one. I guess those fingers had earned him his fame and now they were taking it back. I can't imagine free climbing anything higher than a hammock. Great story!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant concept behind this - short, but to the point. Clever writing!
ReplyDelete@Chuck - thank you. Your climbing ambitions are about on a par with my own. (I can get dizzy wearing two pairs of socks. heheh!) :-)
ReplyDelete@Icy - Thank you. I almost lengthened it to start at eight fingers as a two-handed grip, but I'm glad that I decided to leave it as I originally wrote it. :-)
This was a very interesting perspective into the mind of a daredevil I thought. Here is a guy who goes out and risks his life routinely, so you figure he must have pretty much accepted his own death. I mean he almost has the terminal disease of 'daredevils syndrome.' All of a sudden with this scene, you have him finally facing that death he must have already accepted, but unlike say a cancer patient, he only has a minute as most to say goodbye to the world. Very interesting perspective.
ReplyDeleteMichael, Thank you. I think in your comment you analyse his situation and perspective admirably.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading, and for the compliment.
I like the hardness of the writing and the characters thoughts. It kept me thinking long after I read it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Peter, I'm very pleased with the reactions to this flash, I feel as though I struck a good chord with this one. :-)
ReplyDeleteBrilliant Steve! So much in so many little words and I think it's rather fitting that the middle finger was the last to go. Defiant to the end :).
ReplyDelete*-many
ReplyDeleteThanks Craig, and well-spotted too, I did wonder if anyone would notice the alternate meaning of the middle finger. :-)
ReplyDeleteFor some reason I was thinking the fingers were metaphorical measures of whiskey, swallowed one at a time, each changing the drinker's perspective. The reveal at the end feels like a switcheroo even though you were completely literal all the way along. Impressive piece of work Steve!
ReplyDeleteHiya Harry, and thank you. I like the perspective you saw in this, and as with FAR's comment, I can see how your take on this would work up until the last couple of lines. I think also you may have just given me a prompt for a future flash. (Cheers!) :-)
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