Friday, 23 September 2011


The shock had set in now, and was doing a good job of numbing the pain, the first thoughts in his mind when the teeth snapped onto his ankle weren't of pain or fear, but to roundly curse his own stupid clumsiness for stepping into his own beartrap.

If he could get the damn thing off, or pull the stake from the ground he'd be able to make it back to the house and use the phone. No go. No amount of pushing or pulling achieved either, he just didn't have the strength left.

For several nights the creature had visited his farm, tearing his stock to pieces, he hadn't managed to spot the cursed thing yet, but there was no mistaking the snarling bark that echoed around the nearby woods throughout the dark hours.

At first he thought it must be a cougar or wolf, but the tracks had told the story of a beast that walked on two legs not four, and no animal he had ever known would tear the animals limb from limb like that.

He tore a ribbon of cloth from his shirt and fashioned a tourniquet tightly around his leg a few inches above the steel, then considered his next move.

His rifle was propped against a nearby tree trunk, so close and yet unreachable, rendering it useless as either a means of defence or signal.

Shouting and screaming had brought no-one, his farm was far from anywhere, and people coming this way were few and far between.

He was still there when the sun went down, as the daylight began to fade, and dusk started to creep over the woods he heard it.....

The first snarl came from a long way off, probably from partway up the mountainside, he listened in abject terror as the sound echoed around the hills.

The second time he heard it he was pretty sure it came from the foothills at the base of the mountain, panic started setting in....

He eyed the strip of white skin between the steel and cloth....

The snarl came again, louder... closer...

All reasoning lost now, he pulled the large, razor-sharp hunting knife from its sheath and began hacking feverishly at his leg....

©2011 Stephen. J. Green.


  1. Oh god! 149 days all over again! You led me along there nicely until the gruesome end. Great reveal.


    http://flashquake.blogspot.com (#fridayflash)

  2. Oh my god! I was sitting on the edge of my seat! Oh my god I never expected him to do that!! I want more! Did he escape or what?? ^__^

  3. Man, you could have done an entire flash just about escaping his own bear trap. I hollered in sympathy at the first paragraph reveal. Yow!

  4. Oh wow, this is fantastically horrifying Steve, excellent work!

  5. OK. That made me shudder. I hope you're happy now. ;)

  6. That's a pretty horrifying end. He can't escape the thing on one foot!

  7. I like how you left it ambiguous, what the animal was. I was rooting for 'werewolf!' :D

  8. Horribly fantastic, Steve. :) You left me wincing.

  9. Oh I hate dilemmas like that - I winced in the first paragraph so I was horrified by the end!

  10. I'm one of those who see him escaping eventually. He did the hard thing, decided his life was more important than the whole person. You capture his desperation well and that makes his action at the end pay-off.

  11. This gave me the ibbie gebbies. Ouch! Desperate times create desperate measures. Built up suspense nicely.

  12. Boy, you know how to work the story from beginning to end. And I bet I would be hacking away, too. It's a good thing he already set the tourniquet; even with it, there's bound to be some serious blood loss. Great read this week.

  13. Expertly written, had me gripped to the end.

    Reminds me of my little brother setting up a fishing hook for me or my other brother to stand on and then standing on it himself.

    Horrific ending for the MC.

  14. Hi there Steve -- I echoed L'Aussie's 'oh God' at the point the knife came out.

    Was also entertained wondering what the beast was. In a way, could be a just deserts -- the narrator caught in his own bear trap -- on the other hand, that cow-unfriendly 'thing' doesn't sound too cute n' fluffy...


  15. Hi everyone, thank you all for reading and commenting, it's heartwarming to see that most of you were suitably horrified or cringed, it's really nice to know that a flash has reached the targeted spot. :-)

    As for our man-in-the-trap, Did he escape? Did he complete the action of sawing his own foot off? Or did the "Thing" get to him? I'll let you decide on that one for yourselves... :-)

  16. He didn't have many options open to him , did he?. i would suggest that, even if he did sever his own foot, he wouldn't live to talk about it!he had sat there for, we don't know how long, with his leg bleeding badly enough to require a tourniquet, in the middle of the woods, in the middle od nowhere, not a good scenario!he was also very weak from all of the pussing and pulling, trying to free the stake that secured the trap - that'll teach him to bang them in so deep! i fear that our Mr Monster trapper has become the trapped and is destined to become the "Thing"'s mealand probably a cold one as our man will surely die in his attempt to evade its clutches. we will see!! over to you our kid

    1. Hey Mick, is that you? Thanks for dropping by bro. :-)
      I'm afraid you'll have to make your own mind up as to which way his predicament went, I never wrote a part two for this, but it's definitely not looking too good for him, is it?