Friday, 2 September 2011


My drinking and other vices were becoming increasingly expensive, and my meagre unemployment benefit just didn't stretch to pay for them, so like any self-respecting person, I looked for a way to generate a second income to keep my pleasures supplied.

A career in burglary suited me right down to the ground. The hours were minimal, the pay was usually good, and there was no overheads and no nagging bosses on my case.

One afternoon I broke into what I thought would be an unoccupied premises, as I prowled from room to room I came across a partly open door, and could hear slight movements coming from within, I turned to sneak away but some kind of irresistible force seemed to grip me and draw me involuntarily to the doorway.

I took a peek inside and saw a semicircle of chairs, most of them occupied, by men and women of varying ages.

Seemingly from nowhere a hand gently grasped my arm and ushered me inside, the owner of the hand was a stunningly beautiful redhead, with the strangest brown eyes I have ever seen, I swear I could see flames dancing in them.

“Sit down, sit down, we'll be starting in just a few moments.”

Her voice was rich, and sweet-sounding, images of drizzling honey filled my thoughts.

I sat down nervously, hoping to sneak out after whatever was about to start, had started.

A minute or two later a fat, balding man, with a bright red nose stood up...

“My name is Tom, and I am an alcoholic........”

“Oh dung in a bucket, this is all I need.” I thought, and stood to leave.

“Please... sit down,” said the redhead, “you're among friends here.”

Images of sweet, sweet honey drizzled into my brain again.

“No...” I stammered, “I really don't belong here.”

The honey began to crystallize, to harden... to splinter and crack...

“Oh, I think you do.” She said, and her fiery stare burned into the depths of my soul. “NOW.... SIT.... DOWN.”

And that my friends, is the story of how I took the first step on the road to becoming teetotal.

How I got off the heroin, the cigarettes, and the solvent abuse?

Well, that's for another day.

©2011 Stephen. J. Green.


  1. Good thing he wasn't allowed to leave. It'll be better for him to burgle places sober anyway...

    Good story!

  2. How'd he crack so quickly there? Was the sponsor psychic?

  3. I hope they gave him a 12 step plan! Ha ha this one made me laugh Stephen! ^__^

  4. @Eric - Haha, yeah, he might even be steady enough to take on the second-storey work. :-)

    @John - I couldn't decide if she was a demon or an angel, or maybe a witch or even a hypnotist, but whatever she was, he definitely DID belong there. :-)

    @Helen - Thanks, with the amount of addictions this guy has, he'll probably need a sight more than 12 steps. :-)

    @Tim - I like honey, and to me drizzling honey spells sweetness in a big way. Mmmmmmm- yummy :-)

  5. This felt like a prelude for a serial ... please say it is! Mind you, what's life without a few addictions? There's nothing worse than a reformed addict to make the rest of us still-flawed mortals feel bad.

  6. Hiya Jason, I didn't really intend to add anything to it, but several times I've turned a one-piecer into a two-piecer, I've got the next couple of weeks earmarked, but something may pop into my mind for a part two at some future stage. :-)

  7. Wow, this sounds like a Scared Straight story with a wicked dark twist to it. I like the strength of the woman and the power she has over your character. Good stuff.

  8. @Stephen - thanks, guys like that need a woman like her to guide them in the right direction, don't they?

    @Icy - I think he ought to take a support group course to get him off the burglary habit too. :)

  9. I was going to ask if she was an angel or a demon... but you've answered that already. =)

    I thought it was going to be a Burglars Anonymous meeting...

    "Hi, my name's Tom, and I'm a Burglar."

    Really interesting piece, and I loved the descriptions of her voice, especially as it changed.

  10. Hiya John, this fellow has enough addictions and vices to attend a different support group every night of the week...

    Hi, my name's Tom, and I'm a crack addict... er nicotine addict... err.. what day is it? :-)

  11. Looks like he picked the right target, even if he had no idea. Great story, Steve.

  12. Hi Chuck, yeah unwanted help from an unexpected source. :-)

  13. Hi there Steve -- I think he'd use a 12 step plan to get in through a higher window...

    But then again, that redhead has some unusual, persuasive powers. St.

  14. Hi Stephen, haha, yeah. As for the redhead... all them thoughts of drizzling honey would be enough to turn the minds of most men. :-)

  15. Must have been more than coincidence. He was in the right place at the right time.

  16. Hi Lara, yes, sometimes fortune smiles on us... whether we want it to or not. :-)