Cold caller

I was engrossed in the book, and the knock on the door startled me slightly, with a sigh I placed the book on the chair arm and walked out into the hallway. This had better be good news, I don't have much free time on my hands to relax, and certainly don't appreciate unwelcome visitors eating into the little that I have.

I opened the door a few inches and a highly-polished brogue followed it in and wedged itself firmly into the gap. I opened the door further to be greeted by a smart business suit, complete with brief case, topped off with a youthful face sporting the broadest, toothiest smiling mouth I have ever seen.

“Good morning sir, the sunshine of fortune has beamed brightly down on you today. You are one of the very few lucky people to be given the chance of taking up an offer that is so unbelievably good that only someone more stupid than the most stupid person in the world would even remotely begin to have the merest inkling of the train of thought that would make them even under the most unlikeliest of circumstances actually start to consider the action of refusal. This offer is so amazingly UN-refuseable that I would have signed the papers for you myself rather than disturb your morning, knowing with absolute conviction that I would be brightening your life a thousand-fold by my action, but then you would have had to forgo the pleasure, the delight, the absolute ecstasy of signing your own name to this truly, once in a lifetime, astoundingly unbelievable offer. I won't be giving you any warranties or money back guarantees or promises of value for money because they aren't necessary, I know this is hard to believe, but this offer comes with absolutely no cash layout on your behalf, no money down, nothing, no payment, absolutely none. This product is genuinely, truly, unbelievably, something for nothing. Yes sir, hand on heart, I tell you with utter confidence and by all that is dear to me that this product is absolutely, completely, utterly, one hundred percent FREE!”

“What are you selling?” I asked him.

The smile faltered, he sighed, re-pasted the smile, then started again from the top.

“Good morning sir, the sunshine of fortune has beamed brightly down on you today. You are one of the very few lucky people to be given the chance of ...”

I slammed the door shut, walked back into the lounge, sat back down in the chair, picked up my book and continued reading.

One disturbance in my day is enough, I'm not answering the door again today. If the sales guy wants the front half of his brogue back, along with the squidgy bits inside, he'd better wait until tomorrow before he knocks on my door asking for them, or the term cold caller may take on a whole new meaning for him.


©2013 Stephen. J. Green.

Jacob's flute

Jacob stood beneath the large tree, not too far from the waterhole, he raised the flute to his mouth and began to play.

As his fingers danced a blur along the exquisitely carved instrument, trilling notes wafted on the breeze. Beautiful notes, magical notes.

A large bull elephant walked slowly toward Jacob, stopping a few yards short of the tree, it's body began to sway, head twisting and turning from side to side in time with the music.

Soon a lion joined the elephant, then several zebras, hyenas, gazelles. A dozen or so vultures ceased their circling and settled to the ground close by.

Jacob continued playing, permeating the air with his beautiful tune, before long the whole plain was filled with every manner of creature, all moving as one, all swaying in time with the magical rhythm.

Heads bobbed and weaved in unison. Feet, claws, paws and hooves shuffled from side to side in perfect harmonious motion as the animals danced in smoothly flowing, undulating waves.

Thousands of eyes gazed at Jacob, transfixed, enchanted, enthralled.

On a branch high above Jacob, a leopard opened its eyes, yawned, stretched, then looked down, regarding Jacob with interest.

The leopard slowly made its way down the tree until it was on the branch directly above Jacob's head, the leopard stayed very still for a few moments, then leapt onto Jacob knocking him to the ground, with a single swipe of its claw it ripped his body from chin to groin.

The leopard sank its teeth deeply into Jacob's flesh, and began to eat greedily.

The dancing came to an abrupt halt. The animals looked around, as if unsure of where they were, or what to do.

“Okay guys!” Said the elephant. “That's it! The party's over! The deaf leopard has gone and spoiled it for everyone!”


©2013 Stephen. J. Green

The cure

When I got to the lab the celebrations were already in full swing, most of the staff were drunk, or well on the way.

I pulled Doctor Menzies to one side.

“What the hell is going on here?” I asked him.

“We've done it, we've found the cure, it's official now, we've finally beaten the virus.”

“In who's opinion?”

“We hit the five thousand cured mark this afternoon, that was the target figure, five thousand infected treated, with five thousand tested clear afterwards, officially we've found the cure, isn't that wonderful?”

“Menzies, you moron, all of your subjects died, all five thousand of them.”

“Yes, but not from the virus.”

“Well what the hell DID they die from?”

“Errrrr... well.... we're still working on that one.”


©2013 Stephen. J. Green.

On my way back up

I'm on my way back up now.

Yes, I made mistakes, a great deal of them if I am honest with myself.

It was my first time, but I don't use inexperience for excuse, I still made mistakes.

I didn't make the best choice at every fork in the road, who does?

I always did what I thought was right, at least I think I did.

I believe that I did what I thought I should do.

Mostly though, it didn't work out like I thought it would.

And now I have another chance.

I'm through the planks, but the soil is still above me.

And I'm on my way back up.


©2013 Stephen. J. Green.