FLASH FICTION:-- HORROR, SCI-FI, HUMOUR, CRIME, SLICE OF LIFE, ETC.

Friday 19 August 2011

Neighbours

I live in a very quiet cul-de-sac.

My elderly next door neighbour was very sweet.

The middle-aged couple on the other side were bitter.

George and Maria at number 22 were rich.

Frederick at number 16 was a sour old git.

Janice Almondey-Smythe at number 11 was a lady of great taste.

In contrast the Belmonts at number 9 were very tasteless people.

The big bully and his overbearing wife at number 23 were tough.

The young man who resided at number 4 was a very tender person.

Robert and Glynis from number 12 were like chalk and cheese.

The big-bosomed wife at number 8 was a real dish.

Whilst I found her compulsive liar of a husband a bit hard to swallow.

Eighty-odd year old Peterson from number 17 was a crabby old bugger.

I didn't like the widow from number 13 at all, but her son was quite nice.


A new girl has just moved into number 27, I can't wait to get my teeth into her and find out if she's as tasty as she looks.

Mwuhahahahahahaha.... MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


©2011 Stephen. J. Green.



P.S. I'm going away for a couple of days so I'll be a bit late catching up with reading and replying this week. Have a great weekend everyone.

Steve.

17 comments:

  1. Oh I was going to say I loved the contrast between the neighbours, then you bought in that ending, and I realised you might have been talking about how they taste! Good one! Dining at home tonight! :)

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  2. I'm guessing there was no surprise about the taste of each when he dug in. Tasty little tale...

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  3. All my neighbours taste of long-pig. Oh hang on, the fiendish laugh gives the game away ...

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  4. Very entertaining. I guess it's a good thing there were no salty old sailors on your street -- not good for the blood pressure you know.

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  5. This is great fun Steve! I too like how vividly you described the characters, and no wonder he would know so much about them. :)

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  6. Pitch perfect descriptions. Very clever.
    Adam B @revhappiness

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  7. A tasty treat this week, Steve. I love this piece and the revelation that goes with it.

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  8. Perfect last line! I thought you describing their personalities and than I realize you are describing how they taste. LOL Very good!

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  9. It's amazing how many words we use to describe personality can also be used to describe taste. A clue to our ancestry, perhaps? Excellent flash.

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  10. @Helen, Eric, Jason, Tim, Deanna, Adam, Stephen, Sonia, Icy.

    Hi everyone, and thank you, it was really nice to return home to all these lovely comments, I had a lot of fun putting this together and I hope it gave you all a giggle.

    I'm thinking of having someone to dinner next weekend, would anyone be interested?

    Mwuhahahahahaha.... MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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  11. Very twisted & clover! I thought there was a joke coming about the numbers, so the ending took me by surprise!

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  12. Very nice. I didn't capture that it was comparing the taste of his victims until the evil laughs at the end. Like the descriptions of each of these people and particularly the chalk and cheese.

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  13. I began to wonder at the "hard to swallow" comment, but the ending still made me shudder. Great job, Steve.

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  14. Hi there Steve -- an inventive, rolling play on words. In fact a lot of wordplay. Felt like he was in a supermarket, looking at the labels. :)

    Nice to see something a little experimental. Can't go wrong with some vaudevillian laughter at the end.

    That girl at 27... she's vein. St.

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  15. I wondered after the first few lines why "live" in the first sentence is present tense, while verbs to describe the neighbors are past tense. Then I found out why . . . great stuff.

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  16. I like the bulleted style of this, works well with where you take it at the end. Delicous ending.

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  17. @Catherine, Aidan, Chuck, Stephen, Liminal, Lara.

    Hi everyone, thank you for the very kind comments, It seems that everyone had a good chuckle at this one, I do love a bit of dark humour.

    Mwuhahahahahaha... MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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