FLASH FICTION:-- HORROR, SCI-FI, HUMOUR, CRIME, SLICE OF LIFE, ETC.

Friday 11 March 2011

Awakening (Part 1)

The eggs had lain dormant in the underground cavern for thousands of years, awakened now by a slight shift in the earth's core temperature, there was movement.

Eggshells cracked...

Snouts emerged, sniffing, tasting, sensing.

Claws slowly extended and retracted....

Jaws yawned....

Fangs bared....

Muscles stretched....

Scales rippled....

Tails twitched....

Stomachs cramped....

Hunger burned....

Mouths salivated....

Thousands of claws began burrowing feverishly upwards.

Above, the city of Megapol was awakening to another hot August day.

- - - - - - - - - -

Awakening (Part 2)

©2011 Stephen. J. Green.

28 comments:

  1. Who knows what monsters are unleashed by a few degrees. I love how they'll end up in Tokyo. It reminds me of the Godzilla days.

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  2. This is very scary... well done!

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  3. Hi Stephen, I wrote this story several weeks ago, and chose Tokyo simply because it is such a densely populated city.

    A few hours after posting it I got up and saw on the news the devastating and terrible events that are taking place over there.

    I have changed the name of the city in the story, as I think it would not be appropriate to leave it as it is.

    My heart goes out to all the people caught up in the catastrophic events in Japan and the pacific basin.

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  4. Thanks Rebecca, I always find the idea if dormant horrors scary.

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  5. The things we don't see coming always seem much more creepy.

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  6. "There be dragons" just saying. LOL!

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  7. Very cool story! That's going to be quite a bad way to start the day, for sure. Excellent pacing of the story with the way you constructed it.

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  8. @Tim - Surprise attacks are usually very effective, the confusion in the initial stages would be devastating.

    @Gwen - I deliberately left the description of the creatures a bit vague, that way their size and appearance is left to each reader's imagination, but dragons are quite close to the image I had. ( Very nasty looking dragons)

    @Eric - Thanks, originally I was going to expand each line by adding a couple of adjectives to each, but decided I liked the look of the short, clipped version.

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  9. Monsters under the earth burrowing upwards... *shiver* Very creepy!

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  10. I love giant monsters! Far away, preferably hitting each other. But honestly, at least people will bitch about something other than the August heat. Bring on the monsters.

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  11. @Catherine - who knows what is lurking down there? Mwuhahahaha.

    @John - yeah, bring 'em on. The Aliens quadrilogy are amongst my favourite films, and just maybe had a tad of influence in this.

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  12. Oh I do love it when hell is about to be unleashed! Dormant terrors are awesome.

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  13. Hiya Maria, I have written a kind of sequel to this, which I will probably post next week.

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  14. Very well written. An engaging story to be sure.


    http://timkeen4o.wordpress.com

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  15. That's what I call and monstrous, blood thirsty place.

    Great tension. And I'll say it again, you twisted, twisted man you! I was NOT expecting that ending.

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  16. @timkeen - Thank you very much, pretty soon the beasts will be engaging with the people.

    @Magaly - thank you, it's not called the twisted quill for nothing. :-D

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  17. Short and very sharp - nicely done. Wise move, not adding the adjectives. The short clipped lines are what gives this such a punch.
    ~jon

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  18. Thanks Jon, for the very much appreciated feedback, the part 2 is written in an entirely different style though, next week will tell if it works or not. :-)

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  19. The short sentences kept me running, the ending sent me sprinting for cover. Makes my skin crawl thining of what's coming. Well done.

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  20. I love the simple style of this story - the way each line builds the scene and tension. Great job.

    Also, I need your Twitter handle so I can RT this!

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  21. I love the clipped tone of this. Can't wait to see part 2.

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  22. @Deborah - thank you, as far as the human race is concerned, what is coming is not good news.

    @Danielle - Thank you, as I replied to Eric, I was going to expand each line, but I am glad now that I didn't. I don't use twitter or facebook, they're not really my sort of thing, but thank you so much for asking.

    @Icy - Thanks Icy, The flash that I am using for part 2 was originally written as a stand-alone flash, and is in an entirely different style, but when I took a good look at it, I realized that it would be ideal for a follow on.

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  23. Wow! It read like an evil Dr. Suess. I loved it!

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  24. Thanks Peg, I am really very pleased with the responses to this story.

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  25. I too liked the short, clipped, birthing of the menacing mass. I dig the single mindedness of the creatures led from birth by hunger and look forward to the conflict with the unsuspecting Megapolians when they surface in part II!

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  26. Thanks Harry, the brown stuff will hit the fan very soon. :-)

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  27. Amazing how effective those short lines are. The whole piece is compact but surprisingly entertaining. I liked it a lot. St.

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  28. Thanks Stephen, it does leave plenty of work for the readers' imagination though, doesn't it?

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